Death is coming

The closer death creeps up upon me the less I am able to understand the reasons for life or living.

Yes I have experienced a close family member dying and unlike television it takes decades to handle such a thing. To think I am going to put my family through such a thing when I finally leave is more horrific to me than the thought of death itself.

My life was and is still a learning experience but when all said and done what am I to do with all this accumulated learning over my lifetime if I just die. There is no logic or reason to this.

Long ago I became aware that the God story that is sold to the majority is just a nice story to give mankind with a message of a basic layout of how nice life could be if everyone followed these ideas. Not many in life do and if one thinks about it the good and evil structures actually depend on each other. The good that can be experienced in life is only understood as good when there is it's opposite to compare it to. This is not rocket science only common sense in reality. I am not saying we need to experience bad but understanding in it is needed to appreciate the great things many of us can have in our lives. From birth to death there are many ways mankind helps his fellow man. How many ways can you help?


Saturday, December 22, 2012

With Grief Counseling NJ People Can Learn To Cope

By Brandi Little


When a tragic event occurs where lives are lost or a person becomes traumatized by the event, one of the things that should be available is grief counseling NJ residents can go to. This helps people sort out their feelings and come to terms with what has happened. Even if coming to terms means accepting that someone dearly was loved. In the meantime as a friend or caring person these are some things you can do to help someone who is grieving.

A person who is grieving needs to be able to express everything that they are feeling. This means that they could be happy one minute and crying the next. They may also express anger or even rage while they are talking and sorting out their feelings. The best thing you could do for them is to simply listen to them while they do this.

Let them know they have your full attention. Most people are able to read body language, and you want yours to truly make them feel like your attention is to them. While avoiding hugging them, lean close and simply focus on them. Give them eye contact once in a while, but do not stay staring at all times. Staring at all times may make them a bit uncomfortable and make them hold back on their feelings.

You want to avoid any body movement which can seem as though you are not paying attention, or that you feel uncomfortable with what they are saying. This can make the person shut down emotionally if they feel you are becoming uncomfortable with what their thoughts. Fidgeting or a lot of movement of leg can feel as though you are uncomfortable. Constantly looking at your watch will also feel as though you are anxious to leave.

Do not be quick to give an opinion about what they are feeling. Do not try and interpret anything that they are telling you. Simply allow this time to express what they are feeling so that they can sort all of the emotions they are experiencing.

When someone who has experienced a tragedy, people feel the need to say something to try to make the grieving person feel better. Usually people say phrases that say things are going to be alright, or that you understand what they are going through. These common sayings do not have any positive effect on the person who is grieving.

Unless you have truly experience the exact same situation, then you cannot truly understand what they are feeling or going through. Even if you have gone through a similar situation, keep in mind that it affects people in different ways. Therefore it may not be possible that you truly understand what they are going through.

After a loved one passes on or a tragedy happens emotions tend to be heightened. This is why it is important to help a loved one cope with the situation. The best thing for them is to seek grief counseling NJ area has available. A professional can help them accept and cope with the tragedy that occurred.




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