Garage Sale Grief

By Sandy Ingram

When my daughter died many years ago, I wanted to hold on to anything I had that belonged to her...forever, I told myself. But as the years go by, I have found a greater meaning in letting go. First thing to do is take inventory of what there is, pick out items that you feel strongly about always keeping and put them aside.

It's very difficult to do by yourself because a catastrophic loss splits you into two people. One side of you is devastated and wants to just sit and wallow in the "why questions" ("why did she have to die?", "why did God take my husband?", "why didn't I do more?", "why is God doing this to me?", etc.). Since "why questions" have no answers, the fear, anger, guilt and shame just continue to emotionally pummel you into the ground. This is your emotional side, the side that is owned and operated by your ego. And your ego's job is to make you the center of the world, portray you as the biggest victim and use guilt and shame to make you drag your pain through the rest of your life.

The other side of you wants to move on, wants to start again, wants to try to make the most of whatever life is left. This side of you understands that the pain will change over time, the sun will shine again and your loss could be a great opportunity for personal growth. This is your logical side, the side that is owned and operated by your faith and belief that life and God have a better plan for you than eternal pain and suffering.

Time is a great healer. Even though you may feel that you cannot survive another day because the grief is so overwhelming, you can and you will. Face each day and conquer it! Spend time with friends and read uplifting books. These things can really help when dealing with grief. There are many books written about death and dying. If you believe in an afterlife, books about near death experiences can be helpful. After the loss of my brother I read several of these books and they brought me peace. I had a better understanding of what happened when he died and where he was now.

Some days you may feel like you just can't face the world, this is okay just don't let it become a habit. Many people let grief win and overtake their lives. They become consumed in their sorrow and almost cease to function. This actually becomes detrimental to their health. No matter how hard it may seem, you need to move forward. Keep your loved ones in your heart, but allow yourself to live as well. Think about what they would want. Would they want you to suffer endlessly because of their death?

It is a difficult and daunting task to go through everything and decide what one wants to keep forever, but finally after many years I, personally, was able to do it. Giving many of her things to others made me feel good and that I was doing something worthwhile for others.

Take your time deciding what to do with your child's things. Don't let anyone tell you "it's time to let go." And keep whatever has some meaning to you. Memories are all we have left of our child who died and if some items can put a smile on your face and make you feel good, then they are worth keeping as I have discovered. The rest can bring some joy to others, and our child will continue to live on.

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How you can Start A Spiritual Connection With an Object Inside Nature

By David Jackson

To extend your peripheral eyesight even further, you can then place both of one's fingers out in front of you. Then slowly bring your hands out to either side and discover the location at which you'll not see your hands. At this point, just wiggle your fingers so you can just see them in your left and right field of vision. This is actually the extent of your horizontal peripheral vision For many individuals they'll get about a 180 degree field of peripheral eyesight to their left and right.

Subsequently put each of your fingers out in just in front of you once more. Then gradually lift one arm above your head and slowly decrease your other arm down and to your side. Whenever you start to notice both of your hands disappearing out of your perception of vision, just wiggle your fingers. This is actually the extent of your vertical field of eyesight. For many individuals this may be about a one hundred fifty degree area of peripheral eyesight within the up and down direction.

Then as you play with your spiritual sense of peripheral eyesight in all directions you will discover that the extent of your peripheral eyesight is like a large oval of extended vision. This heightened field of eyesight is how indigenous individuals view the planet.

I like to label this state of using your peripheral vision 3-D vision. For example, if you move your head towards the right and left whilst being in this peripheral eyesight you will notice that objects close to you may also have a tendency to move to the left and right. Similar to placing on 3-D eyeglasses at an iMax theater. As you go for your stroll while in this state of extended 3-D eyesight, notice how you have a much larger sense of the depth of field. As though the objects you move past seem much more three dimensional. You will also notice you are able to pick up a lot more movement whilst inside your peripheral eyesight.

So when I start my heart walk I will spend a few moments strolling about getting in my 3-D peripheral vision as it will get me much more into my senses and takes me closer to tapping in to the spiritual dimension past the one we usually see.

You can also expand this extended sense of vision to a deeper level in order to 'see' what is behind you.

To do this, once more discover a point within the distance that you really feel drawn to and soften your gaze. Go into your peripheral vision once more by wiggling your fingers at the extent of one's peripheral eyesight in both of the horizontal and vertical directions. Then again bear in mind the extent of one's peripheral vision by placing your awareness and focus on the oval at the extent of your peripheral vision.

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Meditation is the key to forming a spiritual connection with your land.