Death is coming

The closer death creeps up upon me the less I am able to understand the reasons for life or living.

Yes I have experienced a close family member dying and unlike television it takes decades to handle such a thing. To think I am going to put my family through such a thing when I finally leave is more horrific to me than the thought of death itself.

My life was and is still a learning experience but when all said and done what am I to do with all this accumulated learning over my lifetime if I just die. There is no logic or reason to this.

Long ago I became aware that the God story that is sold to the majority is just a nice story to give mankind with a message of a basic layout of how nice life could be if everyone followed these ideas. Not many in life do and if one thinks about it the good and evil structures actually depend on each other. The good that can be experienced in life is only understood as good when there is it's opposite to compare it to. This is not rocket science only common sense in reality. I am not saying we need to experience bad but understanding in it is needed to appreciate the great things many of us can have in our lives. From birth to death there are many ways mankind helps his fellow man. How many ways can you help?


Tuesday, April 24, 2012

A Good Planner And Efficient Executer Is Needed In Handling Funeral

By Winston Dunbar


It is a harsh reality that death is the only certain event in this uncertain world. Anything that takes birth must die and human beings are no exception. Yet, accepting the fact that a loved one is no more is possibly the hardest thing in the world. When death happens in the family, the survivors feel numb, unable to comprehend anything. They know that there are lots of things to do; but cannot really figure out where to start. Friends and relatives may offer help; but most of the time they too are not aware about the formalities involved.

In fact, it is not feasible that they should be. Unless one is in the death care industry, one generally does not know much about them. Indeed, handling funerals is not a very easy job; there are numerous legal, religious, secular angles to look into and so it should be left to the people who know the business. Today, we have funeral homes located everywhere; if you approach them, they will take care of every aspect of it. However, you must also make sure that the home you have chosen is a reliable one.

Not every funeral home understands that funerals are more than just a ceremony. If you can handle it properly it can have the following advantages: * A properly organized funeral gives us a chance to honor the dead and pray for the departed soul. * It also helps to pay tribute to a life that was well lived. * It can also help the mourners to accept the loss at the emotional level, which they often fail to do. * This in turn helps them to achieve closure and start life afresh.

As already said, handling funerals in the appropriate way is not at all an easy job; it needs experience of a life time as well as an awareness of the emotions of the family in mourning. The funeral home staffs, especially the director should have a sensitive mind and they should be able to gauge the need of the family without being specifically told. Fortunately, most reputed funeral homes do that well. If you enquire among your acquaintances, you will surely get someone who is really good at the job.

As your loved one departs for his celestial home, your job will be to contact the funeral home. It may sound little harsh, but many people do that even before the death actually taken place. As I have already said, arranging funerals is not an easy job; to handle it properly you must give yourself as well as the funeral home staffs enough time. There are lots to consider.

First on the list is always to have a session with the funeral home director. In general, funeral homes have different plans priced differently; it will be up to you to choose the one that will suit not only your budget but also your emotional need. Of course, the wishes of the departed are also equally important and so you should also consider that while choosing the plan. If for example he had wanted to be cremated, you should always respect that. Another important job to do is to complete all legal formalities; but if you have chosen your home well, you will not have to bother much about that. The staff at the home will take care of that, albeit for a fee.

A good funeral home not only takes care of completing all legal formalities, but also take up the job of transferring the body from the place of the death to the funeral home. Once there, they will next embalm the body and prepare it for visitation. You can bypass this stage if you want; but since such a function is organized to enable the well-wishers to pay their last respect, it is generally advised to have it.

More importantly; visitation also gives you the chance to celebrate the life that the departed had lived with such a jest. You not only can put on display photographs of happier time, but also can put on videos of special moments or have his favorite passages read out. If you opt for church service, funeral comes next. To make the service more interesting, you should prepare the eulogy very carefully. However, you can also opt for a memorial service after the final disposition; but churches do not generally approve of services in the absence of the body since it is a secular affair. Therefore, handling funerals is a complicated job; to have one executed flawlessly, take the help of those who know the business well.




About the Author:



Take Recourse To Grief Counseling If You Find it Hard Dealing With Losing Someone You Love

By Winston Dunbar


Loosing some one you love is not easy. The death may be well expected or it can be sudden; but it always leaves you empty and numb. It is natural for the survivors to remain immersed in grief for a considerable period and during that time you often find them absent minded or even crying. Some may withdraw socially or feel reluctant to go back to work. In extreme cases, such a loss may even cause some physical changes and the mourners may experience trembling, nausea, muscle weakness, dry mouth, troubled breathing, sleeping or eating.

In short, dealing with losing someone you love is always painful; some may not demonstrate the grief outwardly; but there is hardly anyone who will not feel the pain of such a loss. Most of us have some inbuilt mechanism that helps us to overcome the severest of all grieves and start life afresh. However, there is no time limit for that; you cannot really specify how long a person will take to overcome it.

Under normal circumstances, one does not take more than three or four months to put tragedies such as loss of a loved one behind and start behaving normally. You may say that there are plenty of people who do that from the day one; but know them to be proud people who do not like to show their grief in public. One is bound to be affected by such loss unless one is very demonic by nature. Those who do keep a smiling face may be bleeding at heart.

Greif experts say that it is always best if you can cry out loud. This will at least show that you have been able to accept the death. Recovery becomes easier if you can do that both emotionally and intellectually. Sometimes it happens that despite accepting death intellectually, people refuse to do that at the emotional level. This happens more when the death is sudden.

There can indeed be nothing worse than sudden loss of a loved one. The survivor may behave normally, but deep inside he will always be afraid. If for example one spouse has died in a road accident, the surviving spouse will always be afraid of losing the kids in the similar way and may create a ruckus if they are little late in coming home. Worst of all, such people are always misunderstood by their close ones. Few actually can understand the trauma he or she has experienced while the kid was having a gala time with his friends.

At the same time, the impact of such a loss need not always be negative. It can also prompt you to do all those jobs you have been ignoring to do till today. However, you must understand that even those positive actions are the result of an inherent fear; the fear of losing a dear one. One should try to get rid of it as fast as possible; otherwise, it will harm the griever in some other way.

Losing a loved one may be sad, but you must deal with it in the proper way. You must understand that: * Time is the best healer and so one must be given enough time. * Talk to your near ones if that makes you feel better. If you want to be left alone, tell them so. After all, most of them are your well wishers and so they do understand. * Cry out loud, if you feel like crying. It often helps one to overcome grief. Don't feel guilty if you cannot cry; it surely does not indicate that you feel less. * One should make conscious effort to come out of the grief. Once the funeral is over do endeavor to go back to work, meet friends and attend social occasions. * If you cannot make yourself to socialize or lead a normal life, try contacting support groups. * If nothing works do take professional help.

More and more are taking recourse to professional help today. Grieving is a very complicated phenomenon and different people react to death and the consequence loss of a loved one differently. They also take different time to overcome it. That is why, in spite of their best intentions, friends often fail to help. Today the support of the extended family is almost negligible. A qualified counselor will be able to do wonders and bring you back to your feet at the shortest possible time. Today, funeral homes offer grief counseling and so you can consult the director of the home for that.




About the Author: