Death is coming

The closer death creeps up upon me the less I am able to understand the reasons for life or living.

Yes I have experienced a close family member dying and unlike television it takes decades to handle such a thing. To think I am going to put my family through such a thing when I finally leave is more horrific to me than the thought of death itself.

My life was and is still a learning experience but when all said and done what am I to do with all this accumulated learning over my lifetime if I just die. There is no logic or reason to this.

Long ago I became aware that the God story that is sold to the majority is just a nice story to give mankind with a message of a basic layout of how nice life could be if everyone followed these ideas. Not many in life do and if one thinks about it the good and evil structures actually depend on each other. The good that can be experienced in life is only understood as good when there is it's opposite to compare it to. This is not rocket science only common sense in reality. I am not saying we need to experience bad but understanding in it is needed to appreciate the great things many of us can have in our lives. From birth to death there are many ways mankind helps his fellow man. How many ways can you help?


Thursday, November 29, 2012

What To Look For In Bereavement Counseling Services

By Lucile Jacobs


Grieving is a way of responding to loss and the pain that comes with it. Mourning for your loved one is healthy. However, these emotions need to be kept in check so that they do not affect you negatively. This is where New Jersey bereavement counseling services come in. The counselors are trained to help people overcome grief.

A bereavement therapist provides counseling to people who are dealing with grief. They are trained to help people get back on their feet and regain emotional control. Such counselors are not created equal, and it is up to you to find the right one. This process is much easier if you have the right and relevant information.

There are various factors you should consider when searching for a counselor. Perhaps the two most important qualities are skills and ethics. In such circumstances, it is wise to seek references from your friends or colleagues. You need to meet with these professionals so as to decide if they are good for you or your loved one.

Grieving is very personal and everyone does it in their own unique way. Some people will cry while other will try to block out these emotions permanently. There are also those who will result to taking alcohol and other drugs to help them deal with the pain. In order to get help, you must confide in the therapist and let them in on what you are going through.

Your health insurance coverage is another factor that you ought to consider. To avoid misunderstandings, you can contact your insurer to inquire on what percentage of the total cost is covered under the policy. This will help you to plan and budget for the costs in good time. It will also guide you in your choice of therapist.

Never ignore your gut feeling when looking for a bereavement counselor. Remember this is someone who you will trust with your inner most feelings. The counselor should also open up to you and tell you why they decided to become a grief therapist. They have suffered a painful loss and they can resonate with what you are feeling.

Bereavement counseling is a sensitive and delicate matter. In light of this, you need to find an expert who specializes in this. They should be knowledgeable in this area and have the relevant training. If your child is dealing with loss you need to find an expert who deals with children. Kids respond to loss in a different way and they need someone they can open up to.

There are numerous agencies that provide New Jersey bereavement counseling services. It is important to screen them and pick out the best counselor for you or your loved one. It is wise to know what bereavement counseling entails so that you can know the kind of services to expect. The information will also help you to pick a therapist who is right for you.




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How To Get My Ex Back Now?

By Marti Francis


Are you currently going through a break up? Are you questioning "how to get my ex back"? Nearly every adult has gone through some type of a break up in life, and most of them just attempting to move on, rather than to search for an innovative option for getting an ex back. But when you are playing heavily the victim's role and wishing to take some tough actions to search for ways to rekindle romance with an ex, you'll find pathways to success. Every person works on the aftermath of breakup, but does break up just mean that is the end of relationship and you simply cannot get back with each other?

In fact, almost ninety percent of the time there is no reason why you cannot get an ex back after a break up, providing that you know what steps are necessary to win him or her back. The first step in learning how to get an ex back is to determine what exactly happened that caused the break up. Even though you cannot relive the past, and you cannot change what happened, you can learn from the mistakes that were made and grow from the experiences.

The break up could have occurred due to a single event, or it may well have occurred from a series of events that your ex just could not cope any longer. Regardless of what the reason was that led to the breakup, you must get the specifics figured out so you are able to deal with the predicament if it really should come up once more in the future. You are able to get an ex back if you know how, but if you want to make it work on a long-term basis, you'll want to determine what went wrong to start with.

The next step in the process is to ensure that you are not coming off as a needy person. Everyone will feel like they cannot live without their ex, but there is no point in making this obvious. Instead, you should stay strong, and let your ex see that you are holding up just fine by yourself. If you let everyone around you see your comfort and self confidence, then you will have a better chance of getting back together with your ex.

Going for revenge at your ex, or attempting to create jealousy for your ex is just not a sound strategy to operate. The truth is, these are many of the worst behaviors that you just can possibly do, mainly because it'll show your ex that he or she is right to leave you to begin with, and should basically move on simply because you already have. While you do want your ex to know that you are doing just fine, you usually do not want to inspire him or her to completely move on if what you really want is to get him or her back. Let your ex see in a positive way how well you are holding up, and they will really feel inspired to get back together with you.




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Sunday, November 25, 2012

Death: The Inevitable End

By Helen Marquez


As we live, we nosh death. Death is the apparent end that every individual is destined to experience. According to the world-famous Japanese writer, Haruki Murakami, death is not the opposite of life but innate part of it. It is a truth that we can't change. So when we experience a death of relative, friend, family member, colleague or a loved-one it creates a painful impact in our lives. The kind of pain and sorrow that's too deep, neither sincerity nor kindness can cure. Nevertheless, we don't have an option but to undergo the process and learn something from it. Bereavement is a natural process that allows us to reflect and ultimately be at peace enough to go on with life.

A Swiss American psychiatric specialist, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross started several researches about near death experiences, death and bereavement and she came up with the well-known "Five Stages of Grief". She defined that there are 5 basic stages of grief however, a person who is grieving does not necessarily go through all the stages nor in specific order.

DABDA is the generally known acronym of the five stages. Letter D stands for denial. It is the temporary defence mechanism which can be either unconscious or conscious. Letter A stands for anger. This stage is characterised by a strong feeling of envy and rage, wherein the person blames himself or others to release the tension he's experiencing. Letter B stands for bargaining. This stage involves the feeling of hope that it's possible to negotiate or postpone on the passing. Letter D is for for depression. This is the phase wherein the loss is recognised and the person starts to grieve and cry accompanied by distress, doubts and fear. Finally, letter A stands for acceptance, wherein the individual begins to accept the reality and tries to begin a new life without the loved-one who departed.

As human beings, we have high regards our loved-ones, in connection to that, we perform a funeral ceremony to remember the life of the person who passed away. In the Merlion City, Funeral Service Singapore offers a comprehensive coverage and concern regarding the culture, beliefs, religion and practices of the departed. In fact, funeral services in Singapore reveres the religion of departed individuals by providing customs and belief sensitive rites such as Buddhist, Taoist, Christian or Catholic funeral rites services.

Undoubtedly, losing a loved one is one of the most distressing moments a person can experience. It's emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually overwhelming not to mention that whilst going through this overwhelming course you're expected to prepare for the departed's funeral ceremonies.




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Thursday, November 15, 2012

Flowers For Funerals

By Anne McKinney


Death, bereavement and dying entail a lot of hurting, grief and a roller coaster of emotions. Most of the time, in Singapore, in spite of the urban and busy living, sending flowers to the family and friends of the departed is pretty comforting for them. Funeral flowers express emotions that words cannot. However, there are times when it is difficult to pick the ideal kind of funeral flower to send. The following are some tips on how to make the selection process easier.

Initially, think about the deceased. Funeral flowers that reflect the personality of the deceased are always a smart choice. For example, it is perfect to give a gentleman who loved to go fishing, hunt or any sorts of out-of-doors activities arrangement of bold-coloured funeral flowers with a touch of grasses, berries, twigs, and botanical textures. On the other hand, it is appropriate to give a feminine lady who loved pastel colours bouquets of pastel coloured flowers or traditional varieties of roses or gardenias.

More often than not, funeral flowers represent the relationship that existed between the sender and the deceased. Given this premise, it's a good idea to talk to florist when you're picking flowers. You may talk about the deceased and the relationship that existed between you and the reason why you are sending the funeral flowers.

Using non floral items to be included in the design of the floral arrangement can turn it a little more memorable. But then again, the flower arrangement doesn't necessarily have to be the largest as what is significant is the thought of giving for compassion.

A mix of flowers in a distinct yet subtle display that includes colours that blend perfectly together makes for a chic and respectful funeral flower arrangement. Soft shades like pastels, blue and purples enhance the solemn feel of the event and make the funeral more meaningful. Flowers can be sent to either the funeral home, to the family's residence or to the church.

Singapore Funeral Services oftentimes provide funeral flower arrangements. You may have your funeral flower arrangement at the Funeral home Singapore itself. Just remember that funerals honour the memory and life of a loved one. Including flowers provides comfort during such an emotional occasion.




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Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Understanding The Best Way on How To Get Your Ex Back is Vital

By Marti Francis


Some of us will wake up some day and recognize that we're getting difficulties to connect with the one sleeping next to us. Suddenly, the love of our life that we've grown to adore has decided to move on. On the other hand, this will not mean that the relationship is over. Essentially the most crucial point that you simply can do for yourself at this moment will be to discover tips on how to get your ex back. If you can sort this out, you may be capable of resurrect your connection as well as the two of you can be living just as content as you were just before the challenges came along.

The first thing that you need to do is figure out what the problems were in your relationship. You need to remember the good times as well as the bad times. If there was violence of any sort in your relationship, there is a good chance that you are going to want to move forth with your happiness. If you honestly think deep within yourself that learning how to get your ex boyfriend back, go ahead and learn the different techniques.

You need to remember the reality that we always want what is not out there to us. As a result of this, we really need to be sure that we're acting our finest all the time. It would not hurt to bump into them again once a while. Usually do not feel distressful after you see them in public. Let them realize that you will be sad that the relationship ended. Nevertheless, you should never ever beg them to come back to you. Should you play your cards properly, they'll come back to your arms and the two of you will be able to seek happier lives together.

Mastering the way on how to get my ex back is essentially common sense. You have to know regardless of whether or not you can be happy devoid of them within your life. If you can't be happy devoid of an individual, you surely can't be happy with them.

You also need to tell yourself that in some cases, getting back together is not an option. This is why you may need to come to the conclusion that getting back together is not going to happen. All situations are different. As long as the two of you are both ready to try again, there is hope for your relationship. If you follow these instructions, you will easily learn how to get your ex back once and for all.




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Thursday, November 8, 2012

Valuable Tips In Finding Grief And Loss Counseling NJ Specialists

By Tameka Ware


Grieving over sudden changes in life is a healthy reaction. But when everything seems to fly out of control, the need to remedy the issue in its early stage is essential. By immediately delving into grief and loss counseling NJ bereaved patients can easily take back control on their lives and move on.

Keep in mind that grieving is a lengthy process. There is no remediation that can take effect overnight. It does not only involve death or divorce as commonly known. This also comes with retirement, legal problems, major changes in one's health, graduations and empty nests at home. Some kids also grieve over lost or dead pets. Knowing precisely the cause of your condition is crucial in remedying the situation. Knowing the type of counseling you need is crucial to the process.

A traditional means in counseling, psychotherapy is widely used up to this day. It works through guidance through compassion and active listening. The key here is to know the cause and stage of such an experience of a bereaved. A counselor actively helps him or her identify through situations being experienced giving support and, at the same time, providing an assurance that everything is normal and fitting to the occasion.

When a counselor acts in such a way that he or she is a companion to the bereaved such technique is called companion model of bereavement. A psychotherapist usually works as a caregiver and practices supportive and attentive listening tactics to deeply explore the impact of the grieving process. These therapists will lead the bereaved on how to deal with the trauma and finally overcome it.

There are cases when a grieving person totally withdraws from normal life. Complicated grief therapy technique, or commonly known as imaginal exposure, is practiced by tape recording a patient's narrative and carefully dissecting insights out of it through frequent listening. This technique uses both cognitive-behavioral and trauma therapies to heal bereaved patients and in delving deeper into his or her consciousness. Trauma usually delves on controlling anxiety and depression symptoms while cognitive-behavioral therapy undertake thoughts and emotions in correcting unhealthy deeds.

Seeking the assistance of a reliable psychoanalyst, psychiatrists or counselor is essential when one encounters such overwhelming changes in life. Though there are those who can cope easily with such, dealing completely with its causal factors is a crucial aspect in healing through therapy. When this is not addressed properly, it can spiral out of control.

When finding a counselor, you can start reaching out to people you trust. A primary doctor's recommendation is of great help. The support and attention of family and friends will also help steer you to the right professionals or facility to tap.

In conjunction with grief and loss counseling NJ patients may also delve in alternative healing techniques. Yoga and meditation are great sources of relief. Some also do Pilates to release both mind and body from life's stressors.




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