Death is coming

The closer death creeps up upon me the less I am able to understand the reasons for life or living.

Yes I have experienced a close family member dying and unlike television it takes decades to handle such a thing. To think I am going to put my family through such a thing when I finally leave is more horrific to me than the thought of death itself.

My life was and is still a learning experience but when all said and done what am I to do with all this accumulated learning over my lifetime if I just die. There is no logic or reason to this.

Long ago I became aware that the God story that is sold to the majority is just a nice story to give mankind with a message of a basic layout of how nice life could be if everyone followed these ideas. Not many in life do and if one thinks about it the good and evil structures actually depend on each other. The good that can be experienced in life is only understood as good when there is it's opposite to compare it to. This is not rocket science only common sense in reality. I am not saying we need to experience bad but understanding in it is needed to appreciate the great things many of us can have in our lives. From birth to death there are many ways mankind helps his fellow man. How many ways can you help?


Thursday, June 11, 2009

Things to Have in Mind if You Want to Recover a Lost Love

By Ricardo d Argence

If you want to win back lost love that is from a long time ago there may be an uphill battle ahead for you. If you are like many, you have reached a point in your life that you realize that things might have been better for you if you had taken that other path.

Maybe you thought the grass was greener. Maybe there was a litany of things you did wrong, or they did wrong, that drove you apart. Maybe you just miss a time you've idealized in your memory, putting gold pixie dust on cherished memories. If you want to move past the pixie dust and self delusion, follow these tips.

First, make sure that there is nothing in your life right now that may missing out on. The mistake you may have made in the past was that you didnt take advantage of the opportunities that you had at that moment. Make sure that you dont make the same mistake again by missing out on something potentially good.

A life built on regretful reflection isn't the one you want to lead. Look for love now, in your current relationship rather than spend the rest of your life going What if... Also, think about your current partner " jilting him or her so you can go chase an old flame is going to do bad things to their self esteem. Does going after an old flame make you look selfish? Chances are, it does.

It's also worthwhile to ask if they've moved on. Quite honestly, time wounds all heels, and heals all wounds. Just because you're not happy with your present partner and are longing for what you gave up doesn't mean they're feeling the same way about you. Trying to re-open a dormant relationship could hurt both of you.

Ask yourself if they're happy and content. If they are, leave well enough alone. All you'll do by dredging up might have beens is make both of you miserable. That may seem cool in movies, but it sucks in real life.

Everyone changes over time. You changed. They've changed. Events may well have made you entirely different people. The circumstances that your old relationship had don't exist any more. If you're going to make the second go around, focus not on the past, but on the future you want to build together.

Nothing reeks more of desperation than suddenly appearing in someone else's life. Start out slowly, read the signs carefully, and move cautiously. Even if you are obsessed and desperate, that's only appealing in stupid movies. In real life, it's creepy.

Build up to it slowly. Don't tell them how much you love them and can't live without them. (If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead yet? is a good phrase to remember.) Take the time to know them, befriend them, and let them know you, and how you've changed for the better.

As with any relationship, look forward. Forgive the past, learn from the past, and let it lie on its own. What matters is proving that the future you can have together is worth pursuing.

You need to make the most of the chances you're given, and you need to focus on what you (and they) stand to gain from linking up again. Take advantage of today, so that tomorrow is not full of regrets for choices left unmade. If you're going to have a chance at making this love work again, you need to live in the moment, not the past.

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The Best Tips to Save Your Marriage

By Ricardo d Argence

For couples that are looking for ways to save their marriage and prevent it from ending in divorce, need to work together. It is very difficult to watch a once precious marriage crumble and fall apart. It is heartbreaking to watch as two people that were once so in love, grow apart and go their separate ways. If you want to stop the disintegration of your marriage, both people will have to work together.

The first thing to do is chill out. Take some time to step away from the situation and catch your breath. Don't literally take a break from the marriage, just from the situation and allow yourself to calm down a bit. It is amazing how quickly things can heat up and snowball out of control. When you were a child you were probably told to count to ten whenever your emotions got out of control.

The same idea will apply in this case too. Before you say or do anything, take a breath. The next time your spouse says something that angers you, get control of yourself, calm down and release your anger. By releasing your anger you can learn to communicate and take the necessary steps to save your marriage.

Understand what is happening: While you are taking a moment to breathe, take a look at what is happening. This is where you try and look at the big picture and then look at things from other perspectives. From where you are standing at the moment things may look pretty bad. Try to look at it from other perspectives and it might not be as bad as you thought.

Try looking at your current situation from an outsider's point of view and from the perspective of your partner. When you ask others for their insights you might be able to see exactly how things got out of control. It is possible that there is a very simple solution to saving your marriage.

Learn to laugh at yourselves. This advice doesn't mean to make light of your situation, but it means that you don't need to take everything so seriously. Sometimes, really small things can snowball and get quickly out of control. When you are able to actually see what caused this landslide you just might end up laughing about it.

It can be hilarious to find out how a minuscule thing can turn into something so huge when it didn't have to. It can be hilarious if you are willing to let it be. Many times when people go through a rough time they will say, Sometime we are going to look back at this and laugh! Why wait?

Look for ways to improve: Once you have had a chance to step back and catch your breath and then been able to get some perspective on the situation, you can move on. When you have realized that at it's root, this situation or problems that you have been struggling with is really small and manageable you can get things on track.

The next thing that you need to do is to make a commitment to finding a way to improve. If you are the one that is responsible for the little things that get blown out of proportion, then try stopping it. If you have learned that you overreact, then stop it. Improve the way you handle situations and everything else may just fall into place to help save marriage.

You can work together to save your marriage. By working as a team you can bring together what belongs together; the two of you.

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