Death is coming

The closer death creeps up upon me the less I am able to understand the reasons for life or living.

Yes I have experienced a close family member dying and unlike television it takes decades to handle such a thing. To think I am going to put my family through such a thing when I finally leave is more horrific to me than the thought of death itself.

My life was and is still a learning experience but when all said and done what am I to do with all this accumulated learning over my lifetime if I just die. There is no logic or reason to this.

Long ago I became aware that the God story that is sold to the majority is just a nice story to give mankind with a message of a basic layout of how nice life could be if everyone followed these ideas. Not many in life do and if one thinks about it the good and evil structures actually depend on each other. The good that can be experienced in life is only understood as good when there is it's opposite to compare it to. This is not rocket science only common sense in reality. I am not saying we need to experience bad but understanding in it is needed to appreciate the great things many of us can have in our lives. From birth to death there are many ways mankind helps his fellow man. How many ways can you help?


Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Work on Yourself If You Really Want to Get Back With Your Ex Boyfriend

By Ricardo d Argence

So you've just heard through friends that your ex boyfriend, who you've never really got over, is dating someone else and hearing it cuts deep. Your first thought is that you must win ex boyfriend back before he gets too serious with this other girl.

Take it easy and don't do anything rash. Before you launch a plan to win you ex boyfriend back, remember that you have something the new girl doesn't. You have some history with him. Many times history takes precedence and overrides everything.

Now think about that history, those good times with your ex boyfriend. How good were they really, because clearly something went terribly wrong. With time we often slide on the old rose colored spectacles. Be sure that your memories are grounded in reality and not fantasy.

If you're really not sure, talk to a close friend before going full on in your efforts to win ex boyfriend back. Ask your friend to be honest with you. You need to hear the truth, not just what you would like to hear. Listen to what your friend tells you and then weigh it against what you know to be true. Use this information to make a decision about what you should do next.

If you have analyzed the situation honestly and determined that some parts of your behavior were a main reason for the break down in the relationship, then you need to look for ways to amend that behavior.

It will be a complete waste of time to try to win ex boyfriend back if the reasons for the break up are still staring each of you in the face. Deal with whatever needs to be dealt with on your end before you make any kind of serious reconciliation attempt.

Assuming that you decide to go ahead and try and get your ex boyfriend back, you then need to make contact with him. Call him and ask if you can meet up with him somewhere neutral. Don't let it sound as though you are going to drop anything too heavy on him because you don't want to frighten him off at this point.

To win ex boyfriend back make sure that when you meet him, you explain to him that you have thought long and hard about what happened in your relationship.

Let him know that you've done a great deal of work in order to sort yourself out. Tell him that you realized that you still have deep feelings for him and that you want another chance.

Give him the space he needs to tell you how he feels and what he really wants. No matter what, do not get overly emotional or angry if you don't hear what you want to hear. He may need some tome to think things over.

Don't rush him, just leave and wait for him to call you. With any luck, you'll get the call you want and you'll be back together.

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Accept Responsibility for Your Mistakes if You Want to Patch Things Up With Your Ex

By Ricardo d Argence

If you're hoping to get back together with your ex and you know that it was due to your mistakes that she left you, then you'll need to accept responsibility for those mistakes.

As sure as eggs are eggs, making mistakes in relationships means you have to fix them and apologize for those mistakes before there can be any making up.

When you try to patch things up with your ex, you'll need to acknowledge the reason why the relationship broke down in the first place and of course you'll also need to face up to what your part was in the breakdown.

You should also bear in mind that it won't do any good for you to come down too hard on yourself for having made mistakes. Remember, everybody makes mistakes and it's not the mistakes which are important, but rather high you deal with them afterwards.

And a time such as this, you'd be well advised to sit back and ponder as to what exactly when wrong. Of course, it only stands to reason that you will inevitably start thinking about mistakes which your ex made. However, you should bear in mind that this is something you can deal with at a later date. At present you should only be concerning yourself with those things which you are able to influence.

Irrespective of what mistakes you made in the past, do you think it's possible that your ex will be able to forgive you for them? Whatever you do, don't be too quick to come down hard on yourself by being that your mistakes are unforgivable.

You would be surprised at the situations that couples find themselves in and that they later recover from. So don't think that your mistakes are beyond forgiveness. There is always hope!

Furthermore, you need to try and determine what exactly what's happening at that time that you made the mistakes, particularly if they were in contrast to your usual character. This is where you may need to come face to face with accepting responsibility for your mistakes.

Perhaps you'll notice that at that time of you making those mistakes, you were under an exceptional amount of stress, or perhaps your career was lying in the balance. In fact, you may have been experiencing serious family issues or you may just not have been feeling like your usual self. If that was the case, then of course you'll need to sit down with your ex and explain everything in detail.

If your mistakes were the result of you just being thoughtless or selfish, then this is something about you and your character that can quite easily be fixed. It will take ongoing monitoring but if you are sincerely committed to get back with ex, then it is going to be worthwhile.

Once you're satisfied that you have a clear understanding with regards to your mistakes and why you made them, then you should consider contacting your ex to arrange a meeting. For your sake as well as her, you should choose to meet each other in a public area where there are lots of people as this will discourage both of you from becoming emotional.

When you do meet, you need to do what ever you must in order to remain calm and focused on what needs to be said. When the opportunity arises go ahead and apologize and ask her to forgive you. Once you're done then of course you need to listen carefully while your ex lets you know what's on her mind.

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