Death is coming

The closer death creeps up upon me the less I am able to understand the reasons for life or living.

Yes I have experienced a close family member dying and unlike television it takes decades to handle such a thing. To think I am going to put my family through such a thing when I finally leave is more horrific to me than the thought of death itself.

My life was and is still a learning experience but when all said and done what am I to do with all this accumulated learning over my lifetime if I just die. There is no logic or reason to this.

Long ago I became aware that the God story that is sold to the majority is just a nice story to give mankind with a message of a basic layout of how nice life could be if everyone followed these ideas. Not many in life do and if one thinks about it the good and evil structures actually depend on each other. The good that can be experienced in life is only understood as good when there is it's opposite to compare it to. This is not rocket science only common sense in reality. I am not saying we need to experience bad but understanding in it is needed to appreciate the great things many of us can have in our lives. From birth to death there are many ways mankind helps his fellow man. How many ways can you help?


Saturday, December 15, 2012

Death And Loss: The Stages Of Grieving

By Albert Arce


As we live, we nurture death. Death is the inevitable end that every person is destined to experience. According to the famous Japanese writer, Haruki Murakami, death is not the opposite of life but an innate part of it. It is a truth that we can't change. So when we go through a death of relative, friend, family member, colleague or a loved one it creates a painful impact in our lives. The kind of sorrow and pain that's too deep, neither genuineness nor kindness can cure. Nonetheless, we do not have an option but to go through the process and learn something from it. Grieving is a an inherent process that allows us to reflect and ultimately be at peace enough to go on.

A Swiss American psychiatrist, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross started several studies about near death experiences, death and dying and she came up with the well-known "Five Stages of Grief". She explained that there are 5 fundamental stages of bereavement however, a person who is grieving does not necessarily go through all the stages nor in particular order.

DABDA is the generally known acronym of the five stages. Letter D stands for denial. It's the brief defence mechanism which can be either unconscious or conscious. Letter A stands for anger. This stage is characterised by a strong emotion of rage and envy, wherein the individual blames himself or other people to release the tension he's experiencing. Letter B stands for bargaining. This stage involves the feeling of hope that it's possible to negotiate or postpone on the loss. Letter D stands for depression. This is the phase wherein the loss is recognised and the person starts to grieve and cry accompanied by sorrow, doubts and fear. Lastly, letter A stands for acceptance, wherein the person begins to accept the truth and attempts to begin a new life without the person who departed.

As humans, we have high regards our loved-ones, in connection to that, we conduct a funeral ceremony to remember the life of the individual who departed. In the Merlion City, funeral service Singapore offers a comprehensive services and concern regarding the culture, beliefs, practices and religion of the dead. In fact, funeral services in Singapore reveres the religion of dead individuals by providing belief and customs sensitive rites such as Buddhist, Taoist, Catholic or Christian funeral services.

There is no question that losing a loved one is indeed a roller coaster of emotions. It is physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually draining, not to mention the stresses of planning for a funeral ceremony. Today, funeral services in Singapore are equipped to provide decent peaceful funeral services. Most of the companies are pretty helpful and empathetic during these bereavement moments.




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