Death is coming

The closer death creeps up upon me the less I am able to understand the reasons for life or living.

Yes I have experienced a close family member dying and unlike television it takes decades to handle such a thing. To think I am going to put my family through such a thing when I finally leave is more horrific to me than the thought of death itself.

My life was and is still a learning experience but when all said and done what am I to do with all this accumulated learning over my lifetime if I just die. There is no logic or reason to this.

Long ago I became aware that the God story that is sold to the majority is just a nice story to give mankind with a message of a basic layout of how nice life could be if everyone followed these ideas. Not many in life do and if one thinks about it the good and evil structures actually depend on each other. The good that can be experienced in life is only understood as good when there is it's opposite to compare it to. This is not rocket science only common sense in reality. I am not saying we need to experience bad but understanding in it is needed to appreciate the great things many of us can have in our lives. From birth to death there are many ways mankind helps his fellow man. How many ways can you help?


Saturday, June 5, 2010

Walking A Friend Through The Grief Process

By Chad G. Wiley

If a friend of yours is grieving it causes you pain as well. Helping a friend cope with grief isn't the easiest thing to do, but you can learn the right way to do it. First, how do you learn to recognize the signs that your friend is grieving? Grief is the human response to loss. It can be the loss of a loved one, of a home or of a job.

You should first realize the grieving process is a normal process we must go through when we suffer a loss. Don't try to rush your friend through it. We each need to go through each step until we are ready to go on to the next. It doesn't help a grieving friend to try to cheer them up right away. The normal process helps them to finally accept the loss.

The best thing you can do when helping a friend cope with grief is to understand the process. The grieving process can take months or it can take years. Each of us has our own time span for this process and each step does not necessarily happen in order. A person can feel the stages of grief in any order they come in. Remember it is important to go through each step. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally, acceptance are the main stages of grief.

Listening and spending time with your grieving friend is one way you can help them through this difficult process. It is usually the little things we do that can help the most. People want to talk about their loss so listen to them. Let them know how they are feeling is normal and okay. Be patient with someone who has feelings of grief. Try to take a walk or go somewhere your friend enjoys going. Help your friend see that not everything has changed. Slowly but surely you will hear some laughter in a voice or a twinkle in an eye that wasn't there yesterday.

It is a difficult journey you are on while you are helping a friend cope with grief. It is also a rewarding journey and reveals what a wonderful and understanding friend you are. People need our help and support when they are going through difficult times. And it is very helpful when friends stick by them through the entire process. Having family and friends with you when times get rough help a person realize they are loved and will have the support they need to move on.

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