Researchers (Holmes and Rahe, 1967) have studied grief cycle processes and assigned stress levels to items. Loss of a partner and loss of offspring are the highest levels of stress. Others that we may not frequently think about are losses that happen with moving, changing schools, financial issues, and health problems.
We cannot generalize about the grief cycle or expect all people to process all of the stages of grief and loss in congruent ways. For example, loss of a husband or wife is rated the highest for causing stress, but consider it from different points of view. A partner who dies from a sudden accident may cause more of a loss than the one who has been suffering sickness for some time
There's no road map for grief, and each loss must be inspected except for any others. Couples may experience the same loss, but they may grieve in very different ways differently. When one partner does not understand the grieving process of the other, marital issues can surface. Different grief and loss counseling techniques are sometimes used as tools by counselors to be useful to the varying personalities of couples going through the grief cycle together.
Grief and loss counseling techniques for couples and families can frequently find a unifying strength in rituals. Rituals are such a very important part of our lives. We tend to take them for granted and fail to even realize that we have rituals, or even recognize how they impact our lives. This is likewise true of rituals surrounding death. Each and every culture approaches death differently, and even so each family comprising those cultures often have a personalized way of experiencing death. We are able to make statements and generalize to cultures and groups and how they deal with death and how they ritualistically process stages of grief and loss, but it is common knowledge that many divert from the common expectations.
A modern example of a ritualistic approach to addressing stages of grief and loss is the NAMES Project. The NAMES Project began as a a method to affirm the life of every man, woman, and child who had expired from AIDS. It had been a grief cycle ritual to foster healing, where the loved ones of the departed added squares to a patchwork quilt, each square representing a person who had died.
Sources Used and Suggested Reading
Holmes and Rahe (August,1967). Social readjustment rating scale. Journal of Psychosomatic Research, 11 (2).
Walsh, F. And McGoldrick, M. (2004). Living beyond loss: Death in the family.W.W. Norton & Company: N.Y.
We cannot generalize about the grief cycle or expect all people to process all of the stages of grief and loss in congruent ways. For example, loss of a husband or wife is rated the highest for causing stress, but consider it from different points of view. A partner who dies from a sudden accident may cause more of a loss than the one who has been suffering sickness for some time
There's no road map for grief, and each loss must be inspected except for any others. Couples may experience the same loss, but they may grieve in very different ways differently. When one partner does not understand the grieving process of the other, marital issues can surface. Different grief and loss counseling techniques are sometimes used as tools by counselors to be useful to the varying personalities of couples going through the grief cycle together.
Grief and loss counseling techniques for couples and families can frequently find a unifying strength in rituals. Rituals are such a very important part of our lives. We tend to take them for granted and fail to even realize that we have rituals, or even recognize how they impact our lives. This is likewise true of rituals surrounding death. Each and every culture approaches death differently, and even so each family comprising those cultures often have a personalized way of experiencing death. We are able to make statements and generalize to cultures and groups and how they deal with death and how they ritualistically process stages of grief and loss, but it is common knowledge that many divert from the common expectations.
A modern example of a ritualistic approach to addressing stages of grief and loss is the NAMES Project. The NAMES Project began as a a method to affirm the life of every man, woman, and child who had expired from AIDS. It had been a grief cycle ritual to foster healing, where the loved ones of the departed added squares to a patchwork quilt, each square representing a person who had died.
Sources Used and Suggested Reading
Holmes and Rahe (August,1967). Social readjustment rating scale. Journal of Psychosomatic Research, 11 (2).
Walsh, F. And McGoldrick, M. (2004). Living beyond loss: Death in the family.W.W. Norton & Company: N.Y.
About the Author:
Dr. Judy DeTrude is licensed in Texas as a Professional Counselor (LPC) and a Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is an Authorized Supervisor for both of the licenses. Offering counselig care services at Achieve Balance in The Woodlands, Texas, here she addresses why stages of grief and loss can vary widely from person to person, yet the use of ritual can be an effective tool in grief and loss counseling techniques.
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