I am a bereaved parent and always will be. More than four years have passed since my daughter died, yet I have times when tears come to my eyes. Still, I think of myself as someone who has come to terms with grief, someone who has reconciled to it and is moving forward with life. Because I know myself, I know the time has come to mend my heart.
Sometimes the challenges can feel overwhelming and we get lost emotionally in what is going on. Before we realise it the smallest problem feels like the biggest challenge in the world. We can recognise when the challenge has got out of proportion when we step back and see that the amount of stress caused by needing to find a battery for the clock far outweighed the true importance of having a working clock. But when it gets to things like family disputes or problems that interfere with us doing our work (such as the car breaking down so we can't get to where we need to be) then the line around what is important becomes very blurry. In the moment it can feel like the problem is the most important thing in the world and that nothing else matters. Yet is this really true?
While the trumpet is always loud, Jake explained, the ukulele is always soft, and "I had to learn to play it softer." He strummed a sample melody, starting with loud notes, progressing to softer ones, and then notes that were barely audible. According to Jake, soft music makes people listen intently.
Of course, not all problems are overcome in this way because they are really significant and important in our lives. So what happens when the problem in our lives is big and significant such as the loss of a job or a home or the break up of a relationship or the loss of a child or other loved one? Here the challenges are real. They aren't challenges that can be resolved in 5 minutes and the way to overcoming adversities such as these is in reaching a place of acceptance
Surprising as it may seem to you, his explanation made me think of my grief journey. Many mourners get angry at God, or a Higher Power, or at life. But anger doesn't provide answers, unfortunately. Though I never became angry I went through a time of intense self-examination. In fact, I followed Jake's example. Each day, I leaned in to my emotions and listened intently to them.
"Why not?" I reply. Though I am only one person, volunteering for organizations I believe in helps them carry out their missions and reach their goals. I am a volunteer editor for a bereavement website, serve on church committees, give free talks and write free articles. Writing is what I do and when I do it I'm mending my heart. Writing also connects me with my deceased daughter.
Big changes in our lives often mean life changing events where nothing is quite the same for us ever again. And within this there is continued scope for us to learn, to connect with our hearts and to live in the most beautiful and connected way we can. It is through overcoming adversities that we learn most, that we truly know ourselves and that we are given the gift of being truly connected to our heart. When we reach the place of acceptance, we reach a resting place: the emotions are stilled and we have found a way to meet our emotional needs. From here comes the beginning of the path to peace.
Sometimes the challenges can feel overwhelming and we get lost emotionally in what is going on. Before we realise it the smallest problem feels like the biggest challenge in the world. We can recognise when the challenge has got out of proportion when we step back and see that the amount of stress caused by needing to find a battery for the clock far outweighed the true importance of having a working clock. But when it gets to things like family disputes or problems that interfere with us doing our work (such as the car breaking down so we can't get to where we need to be) then the line around what is important becomes very blurry. In the moment it can feel like the problem is the most important thing in the world and that nothing else matters. Yet is this really true?
While the trumpet is always loud, Jake explained, the ukulele is always soft, and "I had to learn to play it softer." He strummed a sample melody, starting with loud notes, progressing to softer ones, and then notes that were barely audible. According to Jake, soft music makes people listen intently.
Of course, not all problems are overcome in this way because they are really significant and important in our lives. So what happens when the problem in our lives is big and significant such as the loss of a job or a home or the break up of a relationship or the loss of a child or other loved one? Here the challenges are real. They aren't challenges that can be resolved in 5 minutes and the way to overcoming adversities such as these is in reaching a place of acceptance
Surprising as it may seem to you, his explanation made me think of my grief journey. Many mourners get angry at God, or a Higher Power, or at life. But anger doesn't provide answers, unfortunately. Though I never became angry I went through a time of intense self-examination. In fact, I followed Jake's example. Each day, I leaned in to my emotions and listened intently to them.
"Why not?" I reply. Though I am only one person, volunteering for organizations I believe in helps them carry out their missions and reach their goals. I am a volunteer editor for a bereavement website, serve on church committees, give free talks and write free articles. Writing is what I do and when I do it I'm mending my heart. Writing also connects me with my deceased daughter.
Big changes in our lives often mean life changing events where nothing is quite the same for us ever again. And within this there is continued scope for us to learn, to connect with our hearts and to live in the most beautiful and connected way we can. It is through overcoming adversities that we learn most, that we truly know ourselves and that we are given the gift of being truly connected to our heart. When we reach the place of acceptance, we reach a resting place: the emotions are stilled and we have found a way to meet our emotional needs. From here comes the beginning of the path to peace.
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