Death is coming

The closer death creeps up upon me the less I am able to understand the reasons for life or living.

Yes I have experienced a close family member dying and unlike television it takes decades to handle such a thing. To think I am going to put my family through such a thing when I finally leave is more horrific to me than the thought of death itself.

My life was and is still a learning experience but when all said and done what am I to do with all this accumulated learning over my lifetime if I just die. There is no logic or reason to this.

Long ago I became aware that the God story that is sold to the majority is just a nice story to give mankind with a message of a basic layout of how nice life could be if everyone followed these ideas. Not many in life do and if one thinks about it the good and evil structures actually depend on each other. The good that can be experienced in life is only understood as good when there is it's opposite to compare it to. This is not rocket science only common sense in reality. I am not saying we need to experience bad but understanding in it is needed to appreciate the great things many of us can have in our lives. From birth to death there are many ways mankind helps his fellow man. How many ways can you help?


Friday, November 11, 2011

How to Deal With Grief: Adjusting to Devastating Loss

By Norman Tuker


The loss of a loved one is a heartbreaking experience, one that changes your life in many unexpected ways. During this time, people feel extreme sorrow over the loss and end up fearing the future because they have lost their direction and have no control over their lives. As a result, their grief often overwhelms them and it becomes harder for them to accept the loss and deal with their emotions. In dealing with grief, one must therefore find ways to express one's sorrow in a healthy manner, one that will help you during the grieving process.

So many people underestimate the impact that grief has on their lives; they are flung into this nightmare and have no idea what to do or what is normal. They feel totally alien to themselves and can be completely overwhelmed by the intensity of their emotions and the impact which the loss has on their whole body, it affects them on every level.

Prognosis increases our turmoil; it is inevitable that we begin counting down the days to the estimated time of demise and see the dawn of each day as bringing us closer to it. Some may feel a sense of surrealness and an inability to fit back into the pattern of life prior to diagnosis, this often intensified by the reaction of friends and acquaintances, who may be dealing with their own shock and dismay at the news and not knowing what to do or say, avoid us.

Second, you can read books or articles about the grieving process. These can help you understand what you are going through by discussing the various stages of grief and how to deal with them. They may also give you insights on how to recover from the loss and move on with your life in ways that your family or friends may not be able help you with.

Whether our grief is anticipatory or grief due to the death of a loved one, there is a very real need to talk to someone about the roller coaster of emotions we are experiencing. This however is not always easy to do, due to a number of reasons which may include; trying to remain strong for the patient, trying to remain strong for the children, trying to put on a brave face for other family members and friends.

There are many more ways in which you can express your sorrow. Some people want to travel to another country to get away from familiar surroundings, while others prefer to grieve and mourn quietly surrounded by family and friends. Some people may find it better to talk to strangers in a support group rather than with other family members or friends.

Regardless of what one does to cope with the loss, it is important to remember that there is no standard way or one effective method for dealing with grief because dealing with grief is different for every person who has ever lost a loved one.




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