We've all heard the phrase, "I need some space," but how much do you need, really, in a relationship? That really depends on the people in the relationship. Some people like to be together all the time, and some people like to spend time apart.
It can be difficult to find a good compromise that both people are happy with. This can be difficult if you each have very different feelings about just what is good about "togetherness" or "solitude." The key to finding a solution is to compromise on what each of you needs in a relationship in this regard, which will help you work through the challenge.
People's "space" needs differ. Some people don't like to be alone at all, and would rather spend all of their time around people -- family, friends, coworkers, their significant others. When they are alone, they feel a little lonely, a little lost.
Other people cherish their alone time. Without a little solitude every day they feel burdened and have a hard time relaxing. They feel that they always have to be �up� or �on� for other people when they�re around them, and it can be exhausting.
Of course, these are the two extremes when it comes to solitude versus "togetherness," but there are still other people who strike a balance between the two somewhere. They love to spend time together with partners, and they also want some time completely alone.
If both of you fall into that happy medium, then defining your space in a relationship should be pretty easy. And if you each fall into the same extreme group, where you both need lots of space or you both dislike being alone, things are made easier, too.
It can be a problem, though, if each of you has very different needs in that area. If you like your solitude and your partner doesn't want to be alone, you'll need to set some boundaries so that each of you gets at least some of what you want. Each of you will need to understand the other's point of view, and you'll need to compromise so that both of you feel your needs are being met as much as possible.
For example, let's say you need some time alone each day for at least a little while and your partner wants company around the clock. It can be a problem if you simply walk off to be on your own without making sure your partner knows this, and if you don't, he or she may feel neglected or that you don't want to be around him or her.
And if you hate being alone and your partner really wants some me-time, then by hanging around constantly you can start to make your partner feel smothered. Your partner might also think that there�s no trust there, and you won�t give him or her private time because you�re afraid of what he or she might do when you�re not around.
You can see that each of these situations could cause significant problems in a relationship. However, if you talk to each other with honesty and openness about how you feel, you should be able to have your solitude with your partners understanding.
And if your partner is someone who would rather hang around all the time when you'd rather be alone, simply realize that he or she doesn't need the kind of space you do in a relationship.
It can be difficult to find a good compromise that both people are happy with. This can be difficult if you each have very different feelings about just what is good about "togetherness" or "solitude." The key to finding a solution is to compromise on what each of you needs in a relationship in this regard, which will help you work through the challenge.
People's "space" needs differ. Some people don't like to be alone at all, and would rather spend all of their time around people -- family, friends, coworkers, their significant others. When they are alone, they feel a little lonely, a little lost.
Other people cherish their alone time. Without a little solitude every day they feel burdened and have a hard time relaxing. They feel that they always have to be �up� or �on� for other people when they�re around them, and it can be exhausting.
Of course, these are the two extremes when it comes to solitude versus "togetherness," but there are still other people who strike a balance between the two somewhere. They love to spend time together with partners, and they also want some time completely alone.
If both of you fall into that happy medium, then defining your space in a relationship should be pretty easy. And if you each fall into the same extreme group, where you both need lots of space or you both dislike being alone, things are made easier, too.
It can be a problem, though, if each of you has very different needs in that area. If you like your solitude and your partner doesn't want to be alone, you'll need to set some boundaries so that each of you gets at least some of what you want. Each of you will need to understand the other's point of view, and you'll need to compromise so that both of you feel your needs are being met as much as possible.
For example, let's say you need some time alone each day for at least a little while and your partner wants company around the clock. It can be a problem if you simply walk off to be on your own without making sure your partner knows this, and if you don't, he or she may feel neglected or that you don't want to be around him or her.
And if you hate being alone and your partner really wants some me-time, then by hanging around constantly you can start to make your partner feel smothered. Your partner might also think that there�s no trust there, and you won�t give him or her private time because you�re afraid of what he or she might do when you�re not around.
You can see that each of these situations could cause significant problems in a relationship. However, if you talk to each other with honesty and openness about how you feel, you should be able to have your solitude with your partners understanding.
And if your partner is someone who would rather hang around all the time when you'd rather be alone, simply realize that he or she doesn't need the kind of space you do in a relationship.
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So there you have it. Some useful steps to get your ex back. Recapture the magic of that moments with the one you love.
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