Death is coming

The closer death creeps up upon me the less I am able to understand the reasons for life or living.

Yes I have experienced a close family member dying and unlike television it takes decades to handle such a thing. To think I am going to put my family through such a thing when I finally leave is more horrific to me than the thought of death itself.

My life was and is still a learning experience but when all said and done what am I to do with all this accumulated learning over my lifetime if I just die. There is no logic or reason to this.

Long ago I became aware that the God story that is sold to the majority is just a nice story to give mankind with a message of a basic layout of how nice life could be if everyone followed these ideas. Not many in life do and if one thinks about it the good and evil structures actually depend on each other. The good that can be experienced in life is only understood as good when there is it's opposite to compare it to. This is not rocket science only common sense in reality. I am not saying we need to experience bad but understanding in it is needed to appreciate the great things many of us can have in our lives. From birth to death there are many ways mankind helps his fellow man. How many ways can you help?


Thursday, December 27, 2012

Face To Face With Death And Bereavement

By Sandy Carter


Many individuals perceive that death is mostly a painful ordeal to handle. The bereavement of a cherished one, regardless of whether predictable or unpredicted, normally leads to melancholic emotions of anguish and grief. Lots of people dislike the thought of death, possibly because the very sense of it describes a mournful conclusion.

Persons who come into contact with a loss of a loved one may possibly go through several kinds of emotions. These feelings, more often than not more intense and more powerful than in normal circumstances, are generally exceedingly burdensome to manage. Most individuals become gloomy, irritated, anxious, frightened, reprehensible, fatigued, confused, unprepared, terrified, enraged, ferocious, emotional, begrudging or just plain empty. Some individuals find it hard to focus, enjoy, dine and accomplish daily activities. Certain people divert their attention toward immoderate quantities of alcohol, food and games. Several individuals face adverse physical effects like impatience and nausea. A large number of individuals notice themselves skeptical about their spiritual views because of disappointment. A few people appear alone and meaningless, lacking enthusiasm in any kind of pastime. Some people may find this hard to believe as true, but all of these are normal methods to react to death.

The sorrowful course generally takes time. Countless methods and guidelines have been created to help bereaved people. To help the bereaved deal with the death of a buddy or family member, encouragement and relations must continually be available. Children should receive ample caretaking and communication. Adolescents, on the other hand, must retain regular involvement in different social activities.

If you're going through a recent loss of a cherished one, there are other valuable things, besides encouragement and communication, which can help you get through this complex stage. Bear in mind that it is okay to cry. It doesn't matter if you're a man. It's normal and natural to cry. Allow the pain to leave you. Talk about your cherished one. Communicate your emotions with other people. Let your associates and family know what you're going through. Find time to heal. Healing your wounds will not happen overnight. Don't rush the process.

Going through a loss of a loved one can be really demanding. Good thing you can actually lessen this almost impossible loads of strain with the help of professional casket services. With their help, you don't have to go through the heartbreaking process of choosing the casket that is right for your decedent. Almost all people might think the thought is absurd, but hiring proficient casket services can actually help you decrease your strain levels during this hard time. You aren't alone for the reason that the professional provider of funeral services Singapore like Buddhist funeral Singapore can actually help you go through the death of a loved one with less stress. They have a team of experienced funeral consultants that will be with you every step of the way.




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Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Benefits Of Grief And Loss Counseling NJ People Need To Know About

By Corinne Hyde


Life is quiet interesting due to the challenges and happy moments that people go through. It is almost impossible for one to have a very smooth life without any kind of challenges. Inability of dealing with the challenge can make someone to lose hope and feel like there is something very wrong with them. There are various challenges that one may face in life. They include financial challenges, family challenges among other things. There are different gains associated with grief and loss counseling NJ residents need to know about.

One can have suicidal thoughts once they feel like it is impossible to deal with the pain one may be going through. Such a person can feel like there is no reason in leaving since someone important to them has left them. This individual needs to visit a counselor in order to overcome this problem and not have such thoughts.

Apart from thinking about committing suicide others can even think of causing harm to other people. Some of the shoot outs that have been happening in the United States may be attributed to lack of people dealing with pain. This is because sorrow can make someone do crazy things.

An individual has a role to play in the society and they can only do this if they are in the right state of mind. Grief interferes greatly with the psychic of someone such that they cannot even work and earn a living due to the pain they may be going through. The person therefore needs to visit a counselor who can assist them in dealing with the issues.

When one has gone through grief and they go through the counseling sessions and they are okay, they are in a better position to assist another person who may be going through the same sorrow they went through. In addition a person who is suffering is more likely to listen to the advise of someone who went through the pain and conquered it. This is because they feel they can relate with the person.

Some individuals turn to substance abuse once they are faced with difficult situations in life and they are not able to handle them appropriately. Visiting a counselor is important for one to overcome the issue. After successful sessions one is in a position not to turn to substance abuse for solace.

When one loses someone that they really loved, they are greatly traumatized. It takes a lot of time and counseling in order to deal with the trauma. Inability of dealing with the trauma can lead to one even developing health complications like having a heart attack, high blood pressure and ulcers among other illnesses. These illnesses are very serious and may even lead to death of an individual.

There are various benefits one can get by using the service above. Due to the benefits associated with grief and loss counseling NJ residents are visiting the counselor every time they need to deal with pain. This has made people overcome their concerns and sorrows thus becoming better members of the society.




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Monday, December 24, 2012

Discover the secret to more time than you ever wanted

By Andy Jensen


We have an age old problem, don't we? We never seem to have enough time. Time is an essential resource that governs everything we do. We consider time so fundamental that we assign its measurement to sophisticated atomic clocks. Yet though we're well into the 21st century, we still have no effective means to save, store or extend it. Time ticks away, whether we like it or not, until our precious reservoir runs dry. Then, life as we know it, is over.

How can something as pleasant as life, be ruled by something as cruel as time? The Bible says time is not a mistake. In fact, God considered it to be ideal, in the beginning. Most of us recall the words that, "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth" (Genesis 1:1). God designated the beginning as the point at which he set up everything in heaven and on earth. From that point onwards, time existed. God went on to establish light, the universe, fish, birds, animals, and of course us. When he reviewed everything, "God saw all that he had made, and it was very good" (Genesis 1:31). The key here is that "very good" in ancient Hebrew means things were perfect. So nothing needed any improvement. Not even time.

So when did things fall apart? Not long after the creation. By then, "the Lord God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed" (Genesis 2:8). Sadly, Adam refused to live according to God's instructions. As a consequence, "the Lord God banished him from the Garden of Eden to work the ground from which he had been taken" (Genesis 3:23). But things soon became much worse! God said "Cursed is the ground because of you; ... it will produce thorns and thistles for you" (Genesis 3:17, 18) Even today this curse adversely affects everything we do. Outside of God's care in his perfect garden, work efforts are hindered. God says, "By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return." (Genesis 3:19). Things are difficult now. We cannot get as much done. Everything is hard work. Finally, death awaits us when time runs out.

Thankfully, that is not the whole story. God plans to restore his universe to its former glory. Because of his great love for us, he wants us there with him. He has already sent Jesus to start the rescue. Jesus lived and died and rose to life again, in full and final payment for mankind's rebellion. As a result, our original friendship with God can be restored. Take a moment to read about it in Romans chapter 5. Soon, in a remarkable way, God will use the thing we fear the most, death, to bring new life. Just as we pass away, this present heaven and earth has an expiry date. John saw in a vision there will be "a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away" (Revelation 21:1). Just as there is an afterlife for us, a perfect new heaven and new earth will rise from the ashes too, but this time without the curse.

What implications are there for time? Will it affect things in heaven? Will we even do anything in heaven? The Bible says, "we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do" (Ephesians 2:10). Now nothing says we cease to be God's workmanship or stop doing marvellous works when we reach heaven. But everything will be hugely different. For the first time, unhindered by the curse, we'll experience the pleasure of wholesome and rewarding accomplishment. Imagine the satisfaction of unrestrainedly completing all we seek to achieve. Teamwork will be a delight, unimpeded by glitches and poor communication. Individual responsibilities will freely benefit from our full and passionate attention. Perhaps we'll be able to deliver extravagantly like the master craftsmen and women of old.

Surely, welcome news like that is widely received and understood, right? Actually, many misunderstand the importance of time to God and his universe. A common quote is "With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day." (2 Peter 3:8). This does not indicate time to be irrelevant. Instead it reveals God's patience and decisiveness. He doesn't want anyone to perish, yet can still be trusted to deliver judgment day. It's not a description of what we can expect in the new earth. Not surprisingly there is someone with a vested interest in confusing the issue. Try as he might to ignore it, the devil is scheduled to be "thrown into the lake of burning sulfur ... for ever and ever" (Revelation 20:10). He will leave no stone unturned to mislead us into believing eternity is a timeless wasteland. Because without time, just about everything we understand would be unbearable. For example, what if nothing had a beginning? Imagine never attending another party or concert because nothing ever started. Imagine never meeting a new friend. Or worse, what if nothing ever ended? Imagine a life playing a harp (pick your pleasure), forever. Time allows for fresh beginnings and change. Time itself is not the enemy.

What is time like in heaven? Much like it is now, only without limitations. The Bible has many references that show how time operates. First, John records that, "there was silence in heaven for about half an hour" (Revelation 8:1). Half an hour is a period of time. Also, the martyrs "called out in a loud voice, "How long, Sovereign Lord, holy and true, until you judge the inhabitants of the earth and avenge our blood?" ... and they were told to wait a little longer" (Revelation 6:10-11). The requirement to wait presumes a finish time. That point is reached upon announcement in heaven that, "the time to reap has come, for the harvest of the earth is ripe" (Revelation 14:14). For a more concrete reference to time, we need only consider the description of the tree of life. It produces "twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month" (Revelation 22:2). Our future paradise clearly operates by a regular and timely schedule. We can look forward to a comforting and dependable rhythm of life.

The answer to not having enough time is clear. Eternity will provide a rich and inexhaustible supply. Though life here is spoiled and thwarted by the curse, life in the new earth will provide an abundance of opportunity, success and fulfillment. We'll finally have time to shine.




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Sunday, December 23, 2012

Funeral Pre-Planning Steps And Benefits

By Hillary Mason


Most individuals map out their future. They plan where to go for college, which company to work for right after graduation and even how to live their life after retirement. Seemingly, people plan for almost everything in their life. However, there is one thing that they usually fail to prepare for - their funeral. This is quite understandable given that death is not something most people don't think about. Also, pre-planning one's funeral can truly make one uneasy.

However, as death is inevitable, accomplishing this task is necessary. Moreover, taking care of this matter as early as possible can spare the departed person's loved ones from future stress. They can just concentrate on grieving and remembering the life of the departed. Pre-planning a funeral can also lift a huge financial burden off the shoulders of the deceased individual's family.

So, how can a person pre-plan his/her funeral? Basically, the first step for this task is to locate funeral services Singapore providers that offer funeral pre-planning. Of course, to receive the best service, one has to ensure that he/she picks a highly recommended Funeral parlour Singapore has. To accomplish this quickly, one can ask trusted people for recommendations. Another option is to utilise the Internet for more extensive results.

Following the selection of funeral pre-planning service provider is the preparation for the actual funeral. This is the stage where discussions about the funeral details with the funeral director happen. The goal of this stage is actually to iron out details of the funeral.

Some of the important matters that need to be decided are the type of casket to be used, the venue of the funeral service and the kind of ceremony to be done. Deciding on these matters may be difficult given one's limited knowledge about them. But there is no reason to worry! Again, during this process, the funeral director was around to give advices or suggestions which can help one come up with the finest decision.

Once the main points of the funeral are fixed, what needs to be done next is to make a copy of the plan and inform loved ones about it. After this, one can solely focus on saving and paying for the bill.




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Saturday, December 22, 2012

All That One Needs To Know About New Jersey Bereavement Counseling

By Brandi Little


The loss of a loved one is a harrowing experience. Those left behind go through a pendulum of emotions. The experience is distressing and this makes it hard for the individual to cope with it. The best way to deal with it is through the help of New Jersey bereavement counseling. This will enable the individual to deal with this loss in a healthy way.

The inability to deal with grief is very dangerous. It takes an emotional toll on individuals. As this happens, individuals have their own various means by which they cope with the bereavement and grief. This means, however, are not suitable. Most keep their emotions to themselves and crowd themselves in work or other activities. This will eat them from the inside making an emotional meltdown imminent. They therefore need to take care of this through counseling.

After the suffering of a loss, individuals have many options by which they can receive support. Among the options is to participate in, group counseling sessions and support groups. These groups offer lessons on grief and loss. They also teach on how to deal with them. Additionally the presence of individuals who have undergone the same experience makes it easy to share, as they all understand each other pain.

It is common for some individuals to feel uncomfortable sharing in groups. This is understandable as most people feel the need to grieve on their own as they come to terms with what happened. To such, an individual professional counselor would be of great help. The confidentiality offered is appealing to the individual. This step will help them heal and learn to accept the loss as part of life. Ultimately, it leads to their recovery allowing them to resume life.

An individual recovery is dependent on the professionalism displayed by the therapist. This calls for the therapist to display compassion towards the individual. Such individuals are fragile, as the loss they have suffered has caused them a great deal of emotional pain. This compassion makes them feel wanted and loved contributing to the healing process.

The process has been identified and broken down into five steps. However, individuals are unique. This makes these steps unique too as they do not have a necessary order by which they occur. Professionals are best equipped to handle grieving individuals, as they know exactly how to take every step.

Anger is a byproduct of the grieving process. This anger if not checked could be disastrous to an individual well being. It is common for people to feel helpless, this helplessness turns into anger as they ponder on the things that they could have done to save the individual or to have made their time on earth a bit better. This leads to heavy regret, regret that causes emotional distress. This distress could turn suicidal hence the need for professional help.

Professionals in New Jersey bereavement counseling are certified therapists. They have undergone the necessary training to ensure that they offer the best of care and service to those bereaved. In addition to this, it also allows them to deal with situations appropriately.




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With Grief Counseling NJ People Can Learn To Cope

By Brandi Little


When a tragic event occurs where lives are lost or a person becomes traumatized by the event, one of the things that should be available is grief counseling NJ residents can go to. This helps people sort out their feelings and come to terms with what has happened. Even if coming to terms means accepting that someone dearly was loved. In the meantime as a friend or caring person these are some things you can do to help someone who is grieving.

A person who is grieving needs to be able to express everything that they are feeling. This means that they could be happy one minute and crying the next. They may also express anger or even rage while they are talking and sorting out their feelings. The best thing you could do for them is to simply listen to them while they do this.

Let them know they have your full attention. Most people are able to read body language, and you want yours to truly make them feel like your attention is to them. While avoiding hugging them, lean close and simply focus on them. Give them eye contact once in a while, but do not stay staring at all times. Staring at all times may make them a bit uncomfortable and make them hold back on their feelings.

You want to avoid any body movement which can seem as though you are not paying attention, or that you feel uncomfortable with what they are saying. This can make the person shut down emotionally if they feel you are becoming uncomfortable with what their thoughts. Fidgeting or a lot of movement of leg can feel as though you are uncomfortable. Constantly looking at your watch will also feel as though you are anxious to leave.

Do not be quick to give an opinion about what they are feeling. Do not try and interpret anything that they are telling you. Simply allow this time to express what they are feeling so that they can sort all of the emotions they are experiencing.

When someone who has experienced a tragedy, people feel the need to say something to try to make the grieving person feel better. Usually people say phrases that say things are going to be alright, or that you understand what they are going through. These common sayings do not have any positive effect on the person who is grieving.

Unless you have truly experience the exact same situation, then you cannot truly understand what they are feeling or going through. Even if you have gone through a similar situation, keep in mind that it affects people in different ways. Therefore it may not be possible that you truly understand what they are going through.

After a loved one passes on or a tragedy happens emotions tend to be heightened. This is why it is important to help a loved one cope with the situation. The best thing for them is to seek grief counseling NJ area has available. A professional can help them accept and cope with the tragedy that occurred.




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Saturday, December 15, 2012

Death And Loss: The Stages Of Grieving

By Albert Arce


As we live, we nurture death. Death is the inevitable end that every person is destined to experience. According to the famous Japanese writer, Haruki Murakami, death is not the opposite of life but an innate part of it. It is a truth that we can't change. So when we go through a death of relative, friend, family member, colleague or a loved one it creates a painful impact in our lives. The kind of sorrow and pain that's too deep, neither genuineness nor kindness can cure. Nonetheless, we do not have an option but to go through the process and learn something from it. Grieving is a an inherent process that allows us to reflect and ultimately be at peace enough to go on.

A Swiss American psychiatrist, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross started several studies about near death experiences, death and dying and she came up with the well-known "Five Stages of Grief". She explained that there are 5 fundamental stages of bereavement however, a person who is grieving does not necessarily go through all the stages nor in particular order.

DABDA is the generally known acronym of the five stages. Letter D stands for denial. It's the brief defence mechanism which can be either unconscious or conscious. Letter A stands for anger. This stage is characterised by a strong emotion of rage and envy, wherein the individual blames himself or other people to release the tension he's experiencing. Letter B stands for bargaining. This stage involves the feeling of hope that it's possible to negotiate or postpone on the loss. Letter D stands for depression. This is the phase wherein the loss is recognised and the person starts to grieve and cry accompanied by sorrow, doubts and fear. Lastly, letter A stands for acceptance, wherein the person begins to accept the truth and attempts to begin a new life without the person who departed.

As humans, we have high regards our loved-ones, in connection to that, we conduct a funeral ceremony to remember the life of the individual who departed. In the Merlion City, funeral service Singapore offers a comprehensive services and concern regarding the culture, beliefs, practices and religion of the dead. In fact, funeral services in Singapore reveres the religion of dead individuals by providing belief and customs sensitive rites such as Buddhist, Taoist, Catholic or Christian funeral services.

There is no question that losing a loved one is indeed a roller coaster of emotions. It is physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually draining, not to mention the stresses of planning for a funeral ceremony. Today, funeral services in Singapore are equipped to provide decent peaceful funeral services. Most of the companies are pretty helpful and empathetic during these bereavement moments.




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