Death is coming

The closer death creeps up upon me the less I am able to understand the reasons for life or living.

Yes I have experienced a close family member dying and unlike television it takes decades to handle such a thing. To think I am going to put my family through such a thing when I finally leave is more horrific to me than the thought of death itself.

My life was and is still a learning experience but when all said and done what am I to do with all this accumulated learning over my lifetime if I just die. There is no logic or reason to this.

Long ago I became aware that the God story that is sold to the majority is just a nice story to give mankind with a message of a basic layout of how nice life could be if everyone followed these ideas. Not many in life do and if one thinks about it the good and evil structures actually depend on each other. The good that can be experienced in life is only understood as good when there is it's opposite to compare it to. This is not rocket science only common sense in reality. I am not saying we need to experience bad but understanding in it is needed to appreciate the great things many of us can have in our lives. From birth to death there are many ways mankind helps his fellow man. How many ways can you help?


Saturday, December 22, 2012

All That One Needs To Know About New Jersey Bereavement Counseling

By Brandi Little


The loss of a loved one is a harrowing experience. Those left behind go through a pendulum of emotions. The experience is distressing and this makes it hard for the individual to cope with it. The best way to deal with it is through the help of New Jersey bereavement counseling. This will enable the individual to deal with this loss in a healthy way.

The inability to deal with grief is very dangerous. It takes an emotional toll on individuals. As this happens, individuals have their own various means by which they cope with the bereavement and grief. This means, however, are not suitable. Most keep their emotions to themselves and crowd themselves in work or other activities. This will eat them from the inside making an emotional meltdown imminent. They therefore need to take care of this through counseling.

After the suffering of a loss, individuals have many options by which they can receive support. Among the options is to participate in, group counseling sessions and support groups. These groups offer lessons on grief and loss. They also teach on how to deal with them. Additionally the presence of individuals who have undergone the same experience makes it easy to share, as they all understand each other pain.

It is common for some individuals to feel uncomfortable sharing in groups. This is understandable as most people feel the need to grieve on their own as they come to terms with what happened. To such, an individual professional counselor would be of great help. The confidentiality offered is appealing to the individual. This step will help them heal and learn to accept the loss as part of life. Ultimately, it leads to their recovery allowing them to resume life.

An individual recovery is dependent on the professionalism displayed by the therapist. This calls for the therapist to display compassion towards the individual. Such individuals are fragile, as the loss they have suffered has caused them a great deal of emotional pain. This compassion makes them feel wanted and loved contributing to the healing process.

The process has been identified and broken down into five steps. However, individuals are unique. This makes these steps unique too as they do not have a necessary order by which they occur. Professionals are best equipped to handle grieving individuals, as they know exactly how to take every step.

Anger is a byproduct of the grieving process. This anger if not checked could be disastrous to an individual well being. It is common for people to feel helpless, this helplessness turns into anger as they ponder on the things that they could have done to save the individual or to have made their time on earth a bit better. This leads to heavy regret, regret that causes emotional distress. This distress could turn suicidal hence the need for professional help.

Professionals in New Jersey bereavement counseling are certified therapists. They have undergone the necessary training to ensure that they offer the best of care and service to those bereaved. In addition to this, it also allows them to deal with situations appropriately.




About the Author:



With Grief Counseling NJ People Can Learn To Cope

By Brandi Little


When a tragic event occurs where lives are lost or a person becomes traumatized by the event, one of the things that should be available is grief counseling NJ residents can go to. This helps people sort out their feelings and come to terms with what has happened. Even if coming to terms means accepting that someone dearly was loved. In the meantime as a friend or caring person these are some things you can do to help someone who is grieving.

A person who is grieving needs to be able to express everything that they are feeling. This means that they could be happy one minute and crying the next. They may also express anger or even rage while they are talking and sorting out their feelings. The best thing you could do for them is to simply listen to them while they do this.

Let them know they have your full attention. Most people are able to read body language, and you want yours to truly make them feel like your attention is to them. While avoiding hugging them, lean close and simply focus on them. Give them eye contact once in a while, but do not stay staring at all times. Staring at all times may make them a bit uncomfortable and make them hold back on their feelings.

You want to avoid any body movement which can seem as though you are not paying attention, or that you feel uncomfortable with what they are saying. This can make the person shut down emotionally if they feel you are becoming uncomfortable with what their thoughts. Fidgeting or a lot of movement of leg can feel as though you are uncomfortable. Constantly looking at your watch will also feel as though you are anxious to leave.

Do not be quick to give an opinion about what they are feeling. Do not try and interpret anything that they are telling you. Simply allow this time to express what they are feeling so that they can sort all of the emotions they are experiencing.

When someone who has experienced a tragedy, people feel the need to say something to try to make the grieving person feel better. Usually people say phrases that say things are going to be alright, or that you understand what they are going through. These common sayings do not have any positive effect on the person who is grieving.

Unless you have truly experience the exact same situation, then you cannot truly understand what they are feeling or going through. Even if you have gone through a similar situation, keep in mind that it affects people in different ways. Therefore it may not be possible that you truly understand what they are going through.

After a loved one passes on or a tragedy happens emotions tend to be heightened. This is why it is important to help a loved one cope with the situation. The best thing for them is to seek grief counseling NJ area has available. A professional can help them accept and cope with the tragedy that occurred.




About the Author:



Saturday, December 15, 2012

Death And Loss: The Stages Of Grieving

By Albert Arce


As we live, we nurture death. Death is the inevitable end that every person is destined to experience. According to the famous Japanese writer, Haruki Murakami, death is not the opposite of life but an innate part of it. It is a truth that we can't change. So when we go through a death of relative, friend, family member, colleague or a loved one it creates a painful impact in our lives. The kind of sorrow and pain that's too deep, neither genuineness nor kindness can cure. Nonetheless, we do not have an option but to go through the process and learn something from it. Grieving is a an inherent process that allows us to reflect and ultimately be at peace enough to go on.

A Swiss American psychiatrist, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross started several studies about near death experiences, death and dying and she came up with the well-known "Five Stages of Grief". She explained that there are 5 fundamental stages of bereavement however, a person who is grieving does not necessarily go through all the stages nor in particular order.

DABDA is the generally known acronym of the five stages. Letter D stands for denial. It's the brief defence mechanism which can be either unconscious or conscious. Letter A stands for anger. This stage is characterised by a strong emotion of rage and envy, wherein the individual blames himself or other people to release the tension he's experiencing. Letter B stands for bargaining. This stage involves the feeling of hope that it's possible to negotiate or postpone on the loss. Letter D stands for depression. This is the phase wherein the loss is recognised and the person starts to grieve and cry accompanied by sorrow, doubts and fear. Lastly, letter A stands for acceptance, wherein the person begins to accept the truth and attempts to begin a new life without the person who departed.

As humans, we have high regards our loved-ones, in connection to that, we conduct a funeral ceremony to remember the life of the individual who departed. In the Merlion City, funeral service Singapore offers a comprehensive services and concern regarding the culture, beliefs, practices and religion of the dead. In fact, funeral services in Singapore reveres the religion of dead individuals by providing belief and customs sensitive rites such as Buddhist, Taoist, Catholic or Christian funeral services.

There is no question that losing a loved one is indeed a roller coaster of emotions. It is physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually draining, not to mention the stresses of planning for a funeral ceremony. Today, funeral services in Singapore are equipped to provide decent peaceful funeral services. Most of the companies are pretty helpful and empathetic during these bereavement moments.




About the Author:



Thursday, December 13, 2012

How To Pick The Best Provider Of Funeral Prearrangements

By Cindy Ingram


A decent and beautiful funeral service is what relatives would want to give their deceased loved one. It might sound simple, but making this happen can be extremely challenging given their emotional state. Moreover, when they spearhead the planning of the funeral service, family members become subjected to more stress.

Would you like your family to have the same fate? Certainly, you would say no. Therefore, start doing something to save them from the stress of planning your funeral. Make funeral arrangements ahead of time!

If you reside in Singapore, making this happen shouldn't be difficult with the presence of numerous companies providing funeral prearrangements. While finding a funeral and Casket services Singapore provider isn't difficult, you should not pick one without knowing their services and products. Simply put, do research before you choose!

When pre-planning a funeral, it'd be best to get the services of a funeral company that offers a wide range of products and services. Doing this alleviates the need to deal with many suppliers and the stress that goes along with it.

Since one of the major parts of funeral pre-planning is selecting a casket, it's imperative that you check the casket selection of the funeral services provider. As much as possible, pick a company that has a vast selection of caskets. This is to make sure that you would obtain one that fits your preference and your budget. Meanwhile, if you plan to have a customised casket, be sure you choose a provider of Singapore casket services that does personalisation.

However, it isn't enough that a funeral services Singapore provider has a large collection of caskets. Its products must also be elegantly crafted and most importantly, durable. So, don't fail to examine the caskets of these funeral services providers. Find out what others have to say about their products, too. Typically, high quality caskets are associated with trustworthy funeral services providers.

Pre-planning your funeral may make you uneasy. But trust that making funeral arrangements ahead of time is probably one of the best decisions you can make for yourself and your family. By doing this, you allow your loved ones to grieve without further worries, and you ensure that you get the funeral service you want.




About the Author:



Benefits Of Learning Wake Etiquette

By Timothy Sanders


At a time of loss, things can be very painful to handle. The right words and the right actions don't seem to come out natural, particularly when people are overwhelmed by depression. When you're a friend or a distant member of the bereaved family, you should make it a point to pay respect to the departed in the most respectful manner. Making a visitation or going to a wake, even for a few minutes, can let them know that you are willing to give them support.

When you make a visitation however, you must be aware of proper wake etiquette. Understanding what to do and what not to do lessens your chances of appearing disrespectful and offending the bereaved family members. Here are some reminders that you must know during a visitation:

Wear only dark coloured clothes. Wearing dark clothing allows you to express emotions of grief. Avoid utilising light colored clothes because they denote joy. Wearing these clothes may offend the bereaved family, as these light coloured ensembles may convey inappropriate intention to celebrate.

Don't be loud. Naturally talkative people ought to be careful of how they socialise during a wake. Unlike ordinary conversations, they should keep their voices and energy to a minimum. Why would you want to overwhelm the mourning family with your loud voice? Although seeing old friends while making a visitation is entertaining, be sure to stick to your goal: that is to remain sorrowful of the event.

Remember to pay respect to the bereaved family all the time. In the event that death pervades your family too, you are sure that they'll give you the respect that you deserve. If a sudden death hits your family, contact a Singapore funeral parlour services provider straight away. Such Funeral parlour Singapore provider can help you surmount the struggles brought by death in a stress-free manner.




About the Author:



Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Funeral Home Singapore Extends Help To The Bereaved

By May Anne Ferrell


The funeral home Singapore-based companies provide is marketed as a venue where the bereaved can actually find comfort and serenity at a time of deep sorrow. It is possible to find a funeral home which features a chapel, family room, visitation room, arrangement room and lounge area. Such provides the convenience of having everything easily accessible and readily available. Yet for the ones who decide that they don't really need the additional amenities, a choice is given to them too. In particular, relatively smaller venues are alternatives the can actually consider since they're suitable for families who like to limit the visitors to just some of the deceased's closest friends and relatives. Smaller as they may be in comparison, most of them are nonetheless flexible enough to be extended in order to accommodate the funeral and memorial services for the dead.

Aside from the venue itself, the one tasked to arrange the funeral takes a look at the Singapore casket services they can carefully take into account. Caskets are always mentioned in the discussion of funeral arrangements since their purchase is one of the most expensive in death related matters. The materials of which they were made greatly influence the price. The less expensive ones are commonly made of pine or a composite of hardboard. Expensive caskets are built using steel, mahogany and bronze among others.

The options for the venue and the casket are just two of the items that can be found in any Singapore funeral service list. Budget and preferences determine the package which the bereaved will ultimately purchase. Yet beyond the selections, flexibility and convenience extended to those left behind by the departed, the funeral homes seek to extend support, comfort and understanding as well.

Sadness and tears may fill the air during the moment of mourning the passing of a person. Even so, a funeral is a celebration of life. It's an opportunity to honour and fondly remember a unique existence. Arranging a funeral may be an important responsibility yet it is a good chance to express a person's gratefulness by paying tribute and last respects to a remarkable person who has touched lives.

Moreover, during a funeral, the people who gather to pay their last respects to the deceased can find and extend their support and comfort to one another. In a way, it helps the mourners find a closure during this these trying times. To some extent, it helps them to cope and find strength in order to move on despite the great loss.




About the Author:



Funeral Services Practices Of Christians

By Anne Gable


When a person dies, Christians believe that God will judge them. Heaven and hell are waiting for them after their life on earth. Other Christians also believe in purgatory, a place where the dead go to if they had done forgivable sins. For Christians, a funeral is where family and friends gather to give thanks for and remember the life of the dead on earth. It is also where they grieve for the lost of their loved one. The Christian faith has many denominations. Each one practices slightly different funeral customs from the next.

For example, before the funeral, Catholic Christians keep a vigil, or a series of prayers, songs, and homilies for the departed. They may hold the funeral at the home of the dead, in a funeral parlour, or in a church. Catholic funerals may also hold a procession to the burial site from the church or the funeral home.

Meanwhile, Protestant Christians follow different funeral customs. There are similarities as well, dependant upon the denomination of the Protestantism faith. Many of them hold the funeral at a church or at a funeral parlour within three days of the death. Guests can contribute to the funeral by giving food and flowers. although playing of worship music is allowed, most Protestant funerals are formal and quiet events.

Most of the time, the disparities in Christian funeral practices also depend on the customs of a country. In Singapore, many Christians hold funeral wakes in a funeral home or an HDB block where the dead had resided or their family lives. funeral for Christians Singapore traditions also observe the rules of Catholic or Protestantism belief, but there are usually Singapore customs that are incorporated in the funeral.

Christian funerals, simillar to funeral services of other religions, are held with deference for the dead in mind. A priest or a minister officiates the mass or ceremony, and the wake is customarilly held within three to seven days after the death. Christian funerals are normally sombre affairs, but some sects encourage a happy celebration to remember the life of the dead lived. Visitors often offer assistance in the form of money or in kind. They are even urged to offer flowers, food, or, if applicable, donations to the chosen charity of the departed's family.




About the Author: