Death is coming

The closer death creeps up upon me the less I am able to understand the reasons for life or living.

Yes I have experienced a close family member dying and unlike television it takes decades to handle such a thing. To think I am going to put my family through such a thing when I finally leave is more horrific to me than the thought of death itself.

My life was and is still a learning experience but when all said and done what am I to do with all this accumulated learning over my lifetime if I just die. There is no logic or reason to this.

Long ago I became aware that the God story that is sold to the majority is just a nice story to give mankind with a message of a basic layout of how nice life could be if everyone followed these ideas. Not many in life do and if one thinks about it the good and evil structures actually depend on each other. The good that can be experienced in life is only understood as good when there is it's opposite to compare it to. This is not rocket science only common sense in reality. I am not saying we need to experience bad but understanding in it is needed to appreciate the great things many of us can have in our lives. From birth to death there are many ways mankind helps his fellow man. How many ways can you help?


Saturday, July 18, 2009

Should You Get Back Together With Your Ex? Don't Go Back to Them Before Answering These 3 Questions

By Anne Torres

Do you remember your first kiss?

Possibly you were six, or sixteen, or twenty-six! No matter how old you were, that kiss began the magic of love and attraction to the opposite sex. We all crave for that loving and faithful partner to share our lives with.

Unfortunately relationships aren't always all sugar and spice, we all mess up sometimes and relationships fall apart. When you're in the emotional state caused by a breakup you may be asking yourself if you should get back together with your ex.

How do you answer the question of whether to take your ex back or not?

Did you make a mistake or not? It's fairly hard to answer that question for ourselves now and again. After we breakup with someone our emotions are running high and it's really hard to think reasonably. It becomes next to impossible to actually decide what you should do and decisions made at that time are often a mistake.

1. Have you taken some time to yourself to think things through? It's recommended that you take at least a month without contacting your ex. You will need to this time to become calm enough to think things through. You need to consider the question of whether or not you really want to get back together with your ex. After some time apart it's easier to decide how you feel.

2. Are there valid reasons for NOT taking them back? It's easy to fall into the trap of telling yourself that you love them so much you'll, in no way, be happy without them. What you need to realize is that life does go on and people can and do fall in love again after breakups. It happens incessantly.

3. Have you thought about what the negatives are in your relationship and what could be done to fix them? If your ex lover is not interested in making changes, you are just asking for a problem. If they have been doing something that saddens you like drinking exceptionally, they're not likely to stop just for the reason that you are in agreement to take them back.

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OCD Treatment - What Is It?

By Anne Durrell

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or OCD causes the disorder to repeat thoughts or actions repeatedly. The disorder with OCD really want to stop himself or herself from carrying out the compulsions, but cannot.

Without OCD treatment, a person may start to suffer other mental health issues, such as anxiety. In addition, OCD treatment involves therapy, which can be helpful to the patient and their family in learning about the disorder.

Therapy Options

OCD is cured with combination techniques. Nowadays, OCD treatment mostly involves:

* Handling

* Meds

Treatment can only work when the patient is ready to get help and is willing to maintain a commitment to all aspects of the treatment. Treating OCD is something that requires a lot of work.

It is not like many other situations, medication alone will not bring succeed to stop OCD behavior or warning signs. The disorder with OCD has to be persistent to all the treatment parts.

Treatment

Therapy is the most common form of OCD treatment. OCD has been labeled a mental disorder and behavioral therapy has proven much more successful as a treatment.

Behavioral medication can be adapted to suit the real compulsions of the patient. Behavioral medication also can give the disorder unique methods to help them. These therapies include:

* Regular desensitization, it exposes the disorder to the anxiety provoking stimuli steadily

* Relaxation techniques: teaches how to cope with stress and anxiety

* Combines relaxation methods with systematic desensitization to help the disorder to handle the compulsion

Medicine

Treatment has been found to be very good for OCD disorder. Anti depressant are the most commonly used drug for OCD therapy.

It is important for a patient to understand that the medication can only help slightly and that therapy must be used in combination if complete relief is desired.

New research helps bring about new ways to treat the condition and continues to help improve the lives of those with OCD.

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Friday, July 17, 2009

How Can You Succeed With Distance Learning Education Why You Work?

By Mary Jackson

Consider the benefits of a distance learning education: keep working and getting paid, forget a fixed class attendance schedule, and have the flexibility of studying when it's convenient for you. It is obvious that most students striving for an online degree seem to have the best of both worlds.

However, even learning online is not perfect and it comes with alot of challenges. It requires a lot of discipline to stay on task and keep personal priorities straight. As a learner, you must be intrinsically motivated to succeed. Without the in-class interaction between peers and the professor, it is more difficult to keep focused on the ultimate goal.

Therefore, how can distance learning students then overcome this challenge? One habit that a student must adopt is good time management. There is only 24 hours in a day and it is up to us to utilize our time in the best way possible. Set up a daily or weekly plan for yourself and ensure that you set aside time for your studies daily. If you have a family, let them know about your schedule so that they know when you should not be disturbed. Divide your time appropriately between your work, your family and your studies. Of course, discipline is important here as any schedule will not do any good if it is not followed.

Another important aspect of a distance learning education is to stay in touch with classmates and instructors through email, instant messenger(IM), college discussion boards or Internet calling. Discuss projects and assignments with peers who can help you stay focused by holding you accountable, and providing motivation and encouragement whenever needed.

Setting goals and rewarding yourself when you attain them are great self-motivating habits. Start by drawing a chart on the milestones that you need to reach in order to complete your course. Strike out each goal as you complete them and reward yourself accordingly. There is a certain satisfaction whenever we see ourselves progressing and this becomes a motivating force for us to face the next hurdle.

Additionally, it is ever essential for a distance learning student to set up a quiet place for study away from home life distractions, such as the television, phone calls or other family members. Organize an off-limits study area or lock yourself in a quiet room to ensure optimum focus. Apart from that, a good chair, a strong table and adequate space are also essential elements in creating a conducive environment.

Although distance learning is a great and effective learning concept, much of its effectiveness is dependent on the habits and determination of the individual. The full advantages of distance learning can only be gained through hard work, discipline and determination for success.

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10 Tips To Help You Select An Online Distance Education College

By Mary Jackson

Accreditation - accreditation is very important because it ensures that an institution meets or exceeds an established set of educational standards. This means that courses from an accredited online distance education college are likely to be transferable to other accredited online or traditional colleges. Your current and prospective employers will look positively at degrees earned from an accredited institution making it easy to earn a promotion or get a new job.

Be aware of degree mills - there are many questionable accrediting agencies out on the internet that are outright fraud and are willing to give fake "accreditation" to any institution willing to pay a certain fee. Some of the degree mills are even owned by these same fake accrediting agencies. Make sure you do your homework and thoroughly investigate the accreditation that the college of your choice claims to have. While many online colleges are legitimately accredited, be aware that there are many that are not. Check out your prospective college to see if the accrediting body is approved by the United States Department of Education or CHEA.

Does the college and degree program you wish to pursue fit with your long-term goals and career? if you are thinking let's say, enrolling in an online associate degree program and later hope to earn a bachelors degree (online or campus), find out how likely it is that your associate degree coursework will transfer by looking for a list of colleges which have accept transfer credits.

Class size is as important in online education as it is in a traditional college classroom. Do your research on the average class sizes at the online distance education institution you are considering. Small classes make it easier to interact and voice your opinion.

Find out if the faculty hold any credentials and if they are qualified to teach the program you want to enroll in. If you can dig further to find out what degrees they hold and if they are experienced in teaching online students, this will save you the distress of finding out later that your instructor is a fellow un-qualified student with no education skills.

Support is very important to your success of online distance education program. Make sure you find if any and what level of support you will get from instructors, faculty and technical staff should you have problems with your classes or experience technical difficulties. Select a college that meets your standards of expectations.

Most colleges have their online classes rolling out all the time. This is a great thing and makes learning flexible. As such you should not feel pressured by the admission office or anyone else to start your program right away. You should start only when you feel your mind is set to it. This will ensure you stay motivated and put the effort you need to succeed with your classes.

Check out if your program will be offered entirely online or if it will require residency at some point in the course. Some online courses have site projects and require residency so let this not come as a surprise to you.

Check if the institution you're interested in offers any form of financial aid assistance. You may be pleasantly surprised to find out that financial aid, loans and the scholarships available to you. In addition, many colleges and universities offer tuition installment plans which help make college more affordable. Ask before you enroll whether such programs exist.

Take your time to research your best degree option and college out there. Don't settle for less than you deserve. Unlike there before when online programs were limited, now there are enormous options and colleges to choose from as most traditional colleges are already offering some programs online.

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Thursday, July 16, 2009

Emo Poetry

By John Dibbs

Oh how funny are emo poems! I mean it is just great to see how emotional kids think they are going through the tuffest time in their lives and feel they need to write it all down to share with us. You haven't lived unless you have read some poems written by emotional people. They have a great way of looking at things and you will be able to peek into their lives when you read their poems.

Poems have been around forever and all poets think they can combine words with such beauty that it's impossible not to appreciate. Emotional people do a very good job at creating poetry because they see things differently than you and I.

Emotional kids think they have some kind of great talent for writing poetry that a normal person just can't relate to because they haven't had the hard life growing up in middle class America.

Lets face it, if you always think you are the victim in every situation in life nobody cares about your dumb little poems but sometimes they are very funny.

The more serious the emo poem the funnier it is. It may seem mean but it really is great fun to see what they complain about. Next time you get a bit bored, which lets face it you are bored right now because you are reading this dumb article on emo poetry, so why not go read some? Cade and eric are the most famous for emo poems and they can be found by searching emo poems in google. Also check for funnyEMOpoems.com for some more great stuff.

Time to enjoy some made up emo poems from Cade and Eric on the web.

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Grief Recovery Counseling

By Maurice Turmel PhD

Back in my practice days I saw many individuals who were suffering the effects of grief and loss after having lost a close loved one. This could include a friend, spouse, child, partner, parent or other relative who had passed on suddenly due to illness or accident. Occasionally I was presented with a couple where one of them had recently received a terminal illness diagnosis and only had months to live. All of these situations were particularly traumatic in their own way.

The case of these latter couples was really no different than any case of grief and loss. In essence, both partners had to deal with their feelings. Once the terminally ill partner accepted the inevitability of their death, they seemed to have an easier time addressing this necessity. I saw this happen in my own family when my brother-in-law was diagnosed with terminal cancer a few years back. He has since passed away. It was my sister who suffered the most. She had to go on and manage life for her and their daughter by herself. In my experience, the surviving partner always had the most difficult time.

With counselling of any sort, the goal is to LISTEN! Not just the hear the words an individual was speaking, but to identify the Feelings behind them. When I would reflect back to the individual I always began with sounds like youre feeling " sad, angry, scared, anxious, depressed " whatever it was they were conveying. I would then ask them to check in to see if what I said was accurate. It usually was.

As the client revealed a particular feeling, or set of feelings, I would instruct them to focus and describe them in more detail. That required that they pay closer attention to the feeling and address all its aspects including any physical reactions. More often than not, tears would begin to flow as the feeling was expressed and then released. The process of describing feelings in detail helps release their associated pain. This became the essence of my approach to grief recovery counseling. I called this stage "priming the pump."

Some clients would ask about "Stages" and "Theories", usually after having read something or being given advice by a friend. Acknowledging this might be interesting as an intellectual curiousity, I would then re-focus them on their feelings because this was where successful grief recovery counseling had to go. After a few sessions they would realize that dealing with feelings always produced the most favorable results, so interest in side matters diminished. People soon realized that dealing with feelings over grief and loss had many additional benefits. In fact what they were learning about grief recovery and feelings had advantages that could be applied to other aspects of their lives.

Our society is geared toward Externals, like stages, graphs, charts, outlines and theories. Good counselling focuses on Internals " feelings, emotions and physical reactions. In other words, counselling focuses on The Heart where we feel our life and where emotional healing takes place. Once an individual is properly focused they can take it from there. A few tools like Journaling, Writing Letters to your lost loved one, listening to favourite music and poetry will put you in touch with Your Heart. You can now heal because you are now Listening!

A well written grief recovery book can become an excellent counselling companion as long as it is designed to put you in touch with your feelings. A fully narrated grief resource can take you even further. Since the feelings associated with grief and bereavement are so intense, youre practically there. Just a little push and the guidance counselling resource book and youre on your way. For most of us, all we need is Permission to Feel. Our heart and soul will take it from there because we have engaged our body and feeling natures innate healing capability.

With any recovery process there can be many distractions along the way. In the case of grief recovery these can come in the form of stages, charts and graphs that are intellectually interesting but have no value in terms of your recovery. Most religions, even though well-intentioned, fall short on this matter as well. A good grief resource, counselor or support group can help you focus on the heart of the matter which is your feeling nature. Externals, even when interesting, can detract you from the task at hand - healing your broken heart.

Grief recovery counseling is fairly straightforward once you understand the process. Applying externals to an internal problem is futile. Talking about your pain is not the same as experiencing it which is what a good counselor and grief recovery resource would have you do. You now know that feelings are the key to your recovery. Feeling your bereavement and grief may be painful at times but that difficulty will be short-lived. Applying tools that focus on feelings and help release them will move your healing along. What you will be left with is the love you have for that deceased loved one, and that's forever.

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Wednesday, July 15, 2009

How You to Get Some Space in Your Relationship

By Ricardo d Argence

We've all heard the phrase, "I need some space," but how much do you need, really, in a relationship? That really depends on the people in the relationship. Some people like to be together all the time, and some people like to spend time apart.

It can be difficult to find a good compromise that both people are happy with. This can be difficult if you each have very different feelings about just what is good about "togetherness" or "solitude." The key to finding a solution is to compromise on what each of you needs in a relationship in this regard, which will help you work through the challenge.

People's "space" needs differ. Some people don't like to be alone at all, and would rather spend all of their time around people -- family, friends, coworkers, their significant others. When they are alone, they feel a little lonely, a little lost.

Other people cherish their alone time. Without a little solitude every day they feel burdened and have a hard time relaxing. They feel that they always have to be �up� or �on� for other people when they�re around them, and it can be exhausting.

Of course, these are the two extremes when it comes to solitude versus "togetherness," but there are still other people who strike a balance between the two somewhere. They love to spend time together with partners, and they also want some time completely alone.

If both of you fall into that happy medium, then defining your space in a relationship should be pretty easy. And if you each fall into the same extreme group, where you both need lots of space or you both dislike being alone, things are made easier, too.

It can be a problem, though, if each of you has very different needs in that area. If you like your solitude and your partner doesn't want to be alone, you'll need to set some boundaries so that each of you gets at least some of what you want. Each of you will need to understand the other's point of view, and you'll need to compromise so that both of you feel your needs are being met as much as possible.

For example, let's say you need some time alone each day for at least a little while and your partner wants company around the clock. It can be a problem if you simply walk off to be on your own without making sure your partner knows this, and if you don't, he or she may feel neglected or that you don't want to be around him or her.

And if you hate being alone and your partner really wants some me-time, then by hanging around constantly you can start to make your partner feel smothered. Your partner might also think that there�s no trust there, and you won�t give him or her private time because you�re afraid of what he or she might do when you�re not around.

You can see that each of these situations could cause significant problems in a relationship. However, if you talk to each other with honesty and openness about how you feel, you should be able to have your solitude with your partners understanding.

And if your partner is someone who would rather hang around all the time when you'd rather be alone, simply realize that he or she doesn't need the kind of space you do in a relationship.

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