Death is coming

The closer death creeps up upon me the less I am able to understand the reasons for life or living.

Yes I have experienced a close family member dying and unlike television it takes decades to handle such a thing. To think I am going to put my family through such a thing when I finally leave is more horrific to me than the thought of death itself.

My life was and is still a learning experience but when all said and done what am I to do with all this accumulated learning over my lifetime if I just die. There is no logic or reason to this.

Long ago I became aware that the God story that is sold to the majority is just a nice story to give mankind with a message of a basic layout of how nice life could be if everyone followed these ideas. Not many in life do and if one thinks about it the good and evil structures actually depend on each other. The good that can be experienced in life is only understood as good when there is it's opposite to compare it to. This is not rocket science only common sense in reality. I am not saying we need to experience bad but understanding in it is needed to appreciate the great things many of us can have in our lives. From birth to death there are many ways mankind helps his fellow man. How many ways can you help?


Thursday, July 2, 2009

How to Get Back With Your Ex After Making Relationship Mistakes

By Ricardo d Argence

When an ex leaves the relationship, the person left behind, most often may not recognize how much in love they are with their ex. You may wish to learn how to get back with your ex, if you find yourself in this type of situation and you will not want to let too much time get away from you.

What you must not do is to allow the fact that you have made some mistakes to stop you in your attempt. It is very well documented that most of the relationships that break up could very easily be put back together again, if only one of those involved actually tried. So try!

There are particular steps you can take when you want to get back with your ex, however, you must understand and follow these steps. Following each of the steps will take some time and effort.

The time it takes will of course, depend on the situation and all situations vary. The truth of the matter is that you are the one to judge the amount of time required to fulfill your desires.

When the relationship was emotionally messy and chaotic, it will take a longer amount of time to get over the initial break up. Much longer than trying to patch up a stable, less dramatic relationship.

So, be honest with yourself and be clear about what kind of relationship you had with your ex, because the truth right here will go a long way to helping you figure out how to get lover back.

Very often, it takes about a month of alone time without trying to make any type of contact with your ex in order to heal from the relationship. Make sure you take this time for yourself without attempting to get back your ex.

You need this time alone to think about the mistakes you may have made as well as learn how you can forgive yourself for any mistakes.

You will not be able to get your ex back if you cannot forgive yourself. Forgiving yourself also increases the chance of you ex forgiving you as well. Be kind and loving to you, realize no one is perfect, and then forgive yourself.

This is not to say that you just forget about your mistakes, you have to consider them and then forgive yourself.

You need to consider how you can avoid making the same mistakes in the future, if you find yourself in the same type of situation. You have to break free of any negative cycle that may cause things to go bad again.

After sorting through your emotions, you need to determine the reasons you made any mistakes. After doing so, you are more ready to begin making contact with your ex to discuss your future together.

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Get Your Ex Back - One Super Tip to Help You Get Back Together With Your Ex

By Anne Torres

You're brokenhearted. You can't eat or sleep. You just want to get your ex back. Nothing you have tried works so what are you to do? Here is one super tip that if you gulp down a little pride and put into practice, will help radically augment your chances of getting back together with your ex.

So what is this earth shattering tip you ask?

Well, it is truly nothing earth shattering, but it is something that the majority of people realize they almost certainly should do but never actually have the guts to do which is this - put the shoe on the other foot.

Try and see your relationship from the other side. It is so crucial, yet so overlooked that if people actually did this before the relationship became broken they could have avoided the breakup altogether.

But it also works wonders for patching up that broken relationship, particularly if you are trying to get back with your ex. You need to spend some time thinking about things from your ex's standpoint.

Take some quiet time and find a place where you know you won't be interrupted and then really engage in some deep and critical thinking about what went wrong, but try to think about it from the other side.

Ask yourself the subsequent questions:

What does my ex truly want in a partner, and more purposely from me?

What makes him or her content?

What makes them mad or upset?

What did I do that helped to corrode the relationship to the point of breaking and was it worth it?

If you actually take the time to do this, you'll probably be amazed at the new perspective that you gain and that we are not always right. There needs to be some give and take in a healthy relationship. You have to make sacrifices at times, and so does your partner.

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Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Work on Yourself If You Really Want to Get Back With Your Ex Boyfriend

By Ricardo d Argence

So you've just heard through friends that your ex boyfriend, who you've never really got over, is dating someone else and hearing it cuts deep. Your first thought is that you must win ex boyfriend back before he gets too serious with this other girl.

Take it easy and don't do anything rash. Before you launch a plan to win you ex boyfriend back, remember that you have something the new girl doesn't. You have some history with him. Many times history takes precedence and overrides everything.

Now think about that history, those good times with your ex boyfriend. How good were they really, because clearly something went terribly wrong. With time we often slide on the old rose colored spectacles. Be sure that your memories are grounded in reality and not fantasy.

If you're really not sure, talk to a close friend before going full on in your efforts to win ex boyfriend back. Ask your friend to be honest with you. You need to hear the truth, not just what you would like to hear. Listen to what your friend tells you and then weigh it against what you know to be true. Use this information to make a decision about what you should do next.

If you have analyzed the situation honestly and determined that some parts of your behavior were a main reason for the break down in the relationship, then you need to look for ways to amend that behavior.

It will be a complete waste of time to try to win ex boyfriend back if the reasons for the break up are still staring each of you in the face. Deal with whatever needs to be dealt with on your end before you make any kind of serious reconciliation attempt.

Assuming that you decide to go ahead and try and get your ex boyfriend back, you then need to make contact with him. Call him and ask if you can meet up with him somewhere neutral. Don't let it sound as though you are going to drop anything too heavy on him because you don't want to frighten him off at this point.

To win ex boyfriend back make sure that when you meet him, you explain to him that you have thought long and hard about what happened in your relationship.

Let him know that you've done a great deal of work in order to sort yourself out. Tell him that you realized that you still have deep feelings for him and that you want another chance.

Give him the space he needs to tell you how he feels and what he really wants. No matter what, do not get overly emotional or angry if you don't hear what you want to hear. He may need some tome to think things over.

Don't rush him, just leave and wait for him to call you. With any luck, you'll get the call you want and you'll be back together.

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Accept Responsibility for Your Mistakes if You Want to Patch Things Up With Your Ex

By Ricardo d Argence

If you're hoping to get back together with your ex and you know that it was due to your mistakes that she left you, then you'll need to accept responsibility for those mistakes.

As sure as eggs are eggs, making mistakes in relationships means you have to fix them and apologize for those mistakes before there can be any making up.

When you try to patch things up with your ex, you'll need to acknowledge the reason why the relationship broke down in the first place and of course you'll also need to face up to what your part was in the breakdown.

You should also bear in mind that it won't do any good for you to come down too hard on yourself for having made mistakes. Remember, everybody makes mistakes and it's not the mistakes which are important, but rather high you deal with them afterwards.

And a time such as this, you'd be well advised to sit back and ponder as to what exactly when wrong. Of course, it only stands to reason that you will inevitably start thinking about mistakes which your ex made. However, you should bear in mind that this is something you can deal with at a later date. At present you should only be concerning yourself with those things which you are able to influence.

Irrespective of what mistakes you made in the past, do you think it's possible that your ex will be able to forgive you for them? Whatever you do, don't be too quick to come down hard on yourself by being that your mistakes are unforgivable.

You would be surprised at the situations that couples find themselves in and that they later recover from. So don't think that your mistakes are beyond forgiveness. There is always hope!

Furthermore, you need to try and determine what exactly what's happening at that time that you made the mistakes, particularly if they were in contrast to your usual character. This is where you may need to come face to face with accepting responsibility for your mistakes.

Perhaps you'll notice that at that time of you making those mistakes, you were under an exceptional amount of stress, or perhaps your career was lying in the balance. In fact, you may have been experiencing serious family issues or you may just not have been feeling like your usual self. If that was the case, then of course you'll need to sit down with your ex and explain everything in detail.

If your mistakes were the result of you just being thoughtless or selfish, then this is something about you and your character that can quite easily be fixed. It will take ongoing monitoring but if you are sincerely committed to get back with ex, then it is going to be worthwhile.

Once you're satisfied that you have a clear understanding with regards to your mistakes and why you made them, then you should consider contacting your ex to arrange a meeting. For your sake as well as her, you should choose to meet each other in a public area where there are lots of people as this will discourage both of you from becoming emotional.

When you do meet, you need to do what ever you must in order to remain calm and focused on what needs to be said. When the opportunity arises go ahead and apologize and ask her to forgive you. Once you're done then of course you need to listen carefully while your ex lets you know what's on her mind.

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Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Life After Death: Are We Forgiven, Or Blamed?

By Afterlife Phil G

"Is my Mum at peace, now she has crossed over? She died when I was very young and living with my Nanna. Am I to blame? Does she forgive me? I need to know she's okay, watching over us and at peace". This question to "Afterlife Phil G" comes from England, and Phil shares his view on this.

Writes another [USA] "Weeks before my husband died (unexpectedly), a thought came in my head that he was going to die of a heart attack. Not long after this he died in his sleep (heart). Should I have taken this as a warning? Am I to blame? I need to know he forgives me. I know visits are possible. Should I have used this 'whisper' to save him?

Phil replies: "When someone crosses over, I feel sure they do not blame us or judge us harshly. So you need to stop thinking those things, and let that go. They accept us as we are, and accept what happened. I feel they have a greater understanding of things, and can see far more than we can imagine. Like a parent who understands their teenage child better than they think, and accepts some things in light of the bigger picture. I find this often in 'reading's.

Whenever I write an article or reply along these lines, there's any number of people who may laugh at my words, but I want YOU to be the judge, to be the proof. You don't need to take my word for it. On my web site I share much free information about contacting the afterlife. I have coached many in my simple technique, of recognizing the signs of contact from family in the Afterlife, and it is from this perspective that I help people to go a step further and ASK or share their concerns of guilt or blame, with the person they miss on 'the other side' and ask for verification to confirm they are not imagining it.

You see, you MAY say I wouldn't know, but you can't say that about yourself. You don't have to write to me, or see a psychic. Follow my advice on the web (philg.net.au). Once you've started understanding the contact you're already having with family and friends in the afterlife, then you can move on. You just ASK them your concerns.

For the lady who lost her husband, talk to him about your warning of a heart attack. For the lady who lost her mother when she was a child, talk to her about your feelings. You were just a child, so I am sure there will be a flood of emotions and thoughts. Talk to them about what's on your mind. In your head, or talk out loud, it doesn't matter. My video 'CoffeeTime' (see 'Afterlife Phil G' on YouTube) provides a good environment to do this, or when you're relaxed and lulling off to sleep, talk to them about what's on your mind. Share your feelings.

You will get caught up in the emotion, but that's fine. Let it happen, flow. Stay in the moment, and forget about the world for a few minutes. That's the reason we don't hear from loved ones in the Afterlife - we're too busy and rushed and concerned about things. Now you're in that moment, let it flow and shut everything else out. Don't worry about if it's real, or imagined.

You will find that, if not immediately, certainly gradually as you stay 'connected', that in between your own words and thoughts, you get images, words, feelings, coming into your mind, randomly, unexpectedly, from no-where. Don't block them. Don't try to analyze them. Don't ask what they mean. Just let those thoughts mingle. If it starts to make sense, go with the flow of the thoughts. Once you start doing this, it becomes really easy. A bit like having a conversation with a friend that starts with boats and ends up talking about cars, and you don't really know how you changed the subject.

Thoughts, images, words, or feelings that randomly enter your head are from the person in the afterlife you want to connect with. Prove it yourself (much information on my web site to help you). The thing here is to accept things as they come through, even if you're not sure or it doesn't make sense. In your cases, I am sure you will feel an enormous weight off your shoulders. You will feel forgiveness and calming, and you can feel it. Now follow my advice to confirm that feeling is real.

"Ghost", the film from the 1980's staring Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze, shows how Patrick Swayze's character still wants to be part of her life, to help her, comfort her, protect her, despite the fact he has died. He struggles to show her that he is with her, because she expects too much proof. Finally it's a silly random remark that shocks her into belief - but she nearly missed the chance. As shown in the film, certainly not all psychics are sincere, but there are some who want to help, and confirm that loved ones who have crossed over are with you - now. Anytime you want them or they want to warn you of something. And regardless of the issues, concerns, or words you want to share, they can hear you, talk to you, and you can verify the experience yourself. - Phil G

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Identifying the Phases Of A Breakup

By Anne Torres

Shock and denial

This may be a combination of how dare they? And oh no!They did not. Whatever form this stage takes it can feel as though someone has dumped a bucket of ice cold water over your head. Denial can give the urge to engage in self-destructive activities or constant rounds of hang up calls to his or her voice mail. Avoid this like the plague. Instead don't call your ex, don't text, and don't email.

Anger

This is wholly normal and tolerable to feel after the end of a relationship. You may invest in voodoo dolls, think devilishly deceitful thoughts about her, call up your best friend and spend hours talking about all the things he or she did wrong, or only rip up and burn all your photographs. Either way anger is healthy to a certain amount but avoid tremendous or threatening behavior.

Depression

This is the best known of all stages of a breakup and one that can be the most critical if you allow it to be. While it is natural to be depressed if you are having thoughts of harming yourself during this time be sure to get help immediately.

Things you can do to evade letting things get too low is plan outings with friends, avoid spending time alone, begin taking classes, or join a relaxation group. Do anything to fill your hours and keep you from spending hours home by yourself thinking about your ex.

Acceptance

The final and best of the stages of a breakup is often referred to as acceptance. This is when you reach the point that you can view your relationship objectively and realize that there was no one person that was all good or bad in the relationship.

This is the time when you can look back on the happy memories and be glad you had the opportunity to love and be loved by this person. Perhaps this is the time when you decide that you were not all that bad together and you would like one more chance.

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Sunday, June 28, 2009

I Have Been a Jerk, How Can I Win My Girlfriend Back?

By Ricardo d Argence

There are of course certain situations which occur from time to time that at best, could be described as a struggle. One such particular struggle is when we try to get our girl back after we've really blown it.

So what did you do? Did you cheat? Were you neglectful? Selfish? Or just unlucky? The questions could go on. Whichever or whatever you did, if you seriously want to get girl back, you're going to have to sort yourself out!

Because this advice which I'm about to share with you is for the most part counter- initiative, you may very well find it extremely difficult to do. Ideally, you should allow her some time to herself by leaving her alone. In many cases where this approach is taken, your ex will eventually realize just how much they miss you and as a result they will agree to give the relationship another chance.

Whenever you do, don't brush this possibility to the side irrespective of whether or not it appears that all is lost at present. If it works, it works and if it doesn't work, then it doesn't.

If however you would rather take a more direct approach at getting your girl back, then you really need to take some time out first. This will allow you time to get your head salted out while at the same time, you'll be giving her some time to think as well.

During this time out, you may want to spend time with friends or family. Whatever you do, you definitely don't want to be pestering her by sending her e-mails and text messages. Neither should you "accidentally" bump into in places where you know she's likely to show up. Rather than work in your favor, these tactics will more than likely drive her further away.

If you neglected her, missed her birthday, hardly ever took her out, then you need to seriously look at that behavior. No girl worth her salt is going to put up with such behavior.

Women love being made a fuss of, and they want their man to make them feel special. Also, they want to be sure that you want to be with them for more than just one reason, and if you fail to do that, they'll be on the way to look for someone who can.

Maybe you were simply spending a lot of time with your mates and as such, you don't really believe that you were doing anything wrong. Perhaps you were all perhaps you weren't, but the truth is; that's not the way one treats a lady if she's important to you. If you were guilty of this but you'd still like to win back your girl, then I'm not being funny, but you need to get yourself sorted out.

Essentially, in order to win back your girl, you need to behave in such a way so as to show her that you are capable of understanding her needs and desires. Whatever you do, don't waste her time or your own by trying to win her back under false pretenses. Even if you succeed, it won't last for long, and the next time she leaves, she'll probably be gone for ever.

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